- Chief O'Hara: Brazen bird! I'll wager there's a connection between this and that parasol he stole from Lola Lasagna today at the race track.
- Commissioner Gordon: [outraged] You wager, Chief O'Hara? A public servant, an upstanding chief of police betting?
- The Penguin: Now what about the other Parasol, the four- legged one. Is that also a fake?
- Lola Lasagne: Do you mean my prize-winning filly, with the white stripe in the middle of the forehead?
- [Penguin grunts an affirmative]
- Lola Lasagne: That's the only thing I have to show for me three weeks of marriage to Luigi Lasagna.
- The Penguin: What! The billionaire South American playboy?
- Lola Lasagne: Not exactly a playboy, Pengie. Luigi's almost 80.
- [unidentifiable noise from The Penguin]
- Lola Lasagne: Instead of dying, as any adoring young wife might reasonably expect, he divorced me!
- [another grunt-like noise from The Penguin]
- Lola Lasagne: Can you imagine he thought I was after his money?
- The Penguin: [gasps] What slander! Fah!
- Robin: [at the Batcomputer] We start out with a question about parasols and come up with a glue factory. Holy non sequiturs!
- The Penguin: I knew you when you'd steal the braces from other kids teeth.
- Lola Lasagne: While you stole their teeth!
- Batman: I'm sorry we worried you, Alfred, but even the Batmobile's library paste Bat-disolving switch got stuck.