- Chris Connor: Just to set the record straight, I don't love you.
- Dr. John Becker: Well, I don't love you! I don't even know what made me think I could like you. You're so cute and sweet and nice and perky.
- Chris Connor: Oh! Well, it's better than being a cranky old fart!
- Dr. John Becker: I'm not cranky! There's just certain things that irritate me.
- Chris Connor: Yeah, everything irritates you! You wouldn't know happiness if it bit you in the ass!
- Dr. John Becker: Oh, yeah, why don't you bite me in the ass?
- Chris Connor: Oh, why don't you bite yourself in the ass? Your head's right there, anyway!
- Dr. John Becker: Just go away, would you?
- Chris Connor: I'm going! Good night!
- Dr. John Becker: Good night!
- Chris Connor: No, no, good *night*!
- Dr. John Becker: You wanna have dinner with me some time?
- Chris Connor: I'd love to!
- Chris Connor: [about her hospital bill] That's robbery!
- Dr. John Becker: Of course it is - that's why they drug you and put you in a paper robe with your ass hanging out!
- Linda: [Confronting Margaret about her faith] So you just believe any crap that they feed you? Wow, that's deep!