- Tabitha Soren: The censorship battle over rap star Ice Man McGee's latest release is heating up. A Los Angeles man by the name of Doug Szathkey is protesting Ice Man's new hit single, 'Kill Doug Szathkey.'
- Ice Man McGee: [rapping] Cuttin' up my lawn, and scatterin' his clippings. / You think I don't know where my yard begins? / He lives on Springer Road, number 311. / Sucker gets home every night around 7. / Kill Doug Szathkey. / That's right, I said, kill Doug Szathkey. / Peace.
- Ice Man McGee: It's like I'm saying, it's just censorship, straight up. I would like to make it clear that when I said, 'Kill Doug Szathkey', I was using street terminology to describe a situation from my life. When you misinterpret my words, all ya'all dis me, you dis my fans, and you dis the United States Constitution. And that's a real crime.
- Radio Jingle: Potato chips, potato chips, I love potato chips. / Potato chips, potato chips, eat 'em up, wow.
- Gen. Douglas MacArthur: Come on Stacy, shake those cobwebs loose.
- B Minus Time Traveler: July 7, 1941, a dayyy that will live in infamy.
- [General MacArthur gives a disapproving look]
- B Minus Time Traveler: September 12, 1941, a dayyy that will live in...
- [whines]
- B Minus Time Traveler: Come on, General MacArthur, they both sound right.
- Gen. Douglas MacArthur: How could you forget the day Pearl Harbor was bombed?
- B Minus Time Traveler: Well, it was like, super easy to cheat in that class, cuz I had this friend Stacy, we had this system rigged where you would write it...
- [the General stare sternly]
- B Minus Time Traveler: on... your... arm...