- Milburn Drysdale: [Presents Jed with a gift] With my compliments.
- Jed Clampett: Well doggies! Would you look at that?... What is it?
- Milburn Drysdale: It's a genuine imported Oriental magic music maker.
- Jethro Bodine: Hot dog! A Japanese transistor radio!
- Jed Clampett: We was just wonderin' how everybody was gettin' along over there.
- John Faversham: Quite well, sir, thank you, considering the fact that we're running the castle with a skeleton staff.
- Jed Clampett: They got trouble alright. Their servants are down to skin and bones.
- John Faversham: It's only her majesty's ships that have been sold.
- Jed Clampett: Oh. Things ain't quite as bad as we thought, but they're hurtin' for money alright. The Queen sold her navy.
- Jed Clampett: Mr. Drysdale, I know you been totin' a crushin' burden, but I got good news for you.
- Milburn Drysdale: Good news?
- Jed Clampett: I'm goin' to take my $80 million outa your bank. Fetch in the wheelbarrow, Granny. Well Doggies! It worked already.
- [Mr. Drysdale has passed out on the floor]
- Jed Clampett: He's sure sleepin' now isn't he?
- Daisy Moses: Just like a baby.
- Montrose: Would you like to buy Hong Kong?
- Daisy Moses: That's that big ape that carried off Faye Wray.
- Montrose: Hong Kong is on the coast of China.
- Jed Clampett: Well, to tell the truth, I ain't too keen on buyin' a Chinese ape.
- Jed Clampett: Sold me Canada for $80 million and a handful of cash.
- Daisy Moses: You bought Canada, Jed?
- Jed Clampett: It's Jethro that deserved the credit. Hadn't been for him, I mighta would up with Borneo. Mr. Drysdale, why don't you and Miss Jane...
- [Mr. Drysdale has passed out]
- Jed Clampett: Well Doggies! All it takes to catch him up on his sleep is a little good news.