The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

Dash Riprock, You Cad (1965)

Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Daisy Moses : And there's Elly May, with the prettiest figure that ever came outta the hills.

  Jed Clampett : That's the truth. She got more curves than a goat path.

• Jed Clampett : Forget for a minute that you're Elly May's cousin. Now speakin' as just a young feller, whose figure would you pick? Miss Jane's or Elly May's?

  Jethro Bodine : Well, Miss Jane's.

  Jed Clampett : Why?

  Jethro Bodine : Heck fire, if I had Elly's figure, I'd look like a girl!

• Jed Clampett : Only one thing can make a girl forget a boy. That's another boy.

  Daisy Moses : You got one in mind, Jed?

  Jed Clampett : That movie studio of mine is crawlin' with 'em.

  Daisy Moses : Slitherin' is the word. Snakes in the grass, that's what them Hollywood actors is.

• Jed Clampett : By doggies, whatever Miss Jane's got, it's hid like a quail in a thicket.

• Jed Clampett : [talking to Granny]  Miss Jane's a fine woman, all right, got a good head on her shoulders. From there on down, she appears to've been shorted a mite.