- Daisy Moses: Jed Clampett, you get into your good duds and git over there and buy that cake that Elly May baked!
- Jed Clampett: I don't want that thing.
- Daisy Moses: That ain't the idea. You gotta buy it before some other man buys it!
- Jed Clampett: I don't think there's a man in this town can lift it.
- Shorty Kellems: It rolls real good. That's how Elly got it over there.
- Jane Hathaway: May I have my key please?
- Shorty Kellems: What key's that?
- Jane Hathaway: The key to the room I'm occupying.
- Shorty Kellems: I'm afraid there ain't no key.
- Jane Hathaway: Why not?
- Shorty Kellems: Cuz there ain't no lock.
- Jane Hathaway: Mr. Kellems, am I to understand that some local Lochinvar would be free to enter my room whenever he wished?
- Shorty Kellems: Um, now that you mention it, yeah. I reckon he would.
- Jane Hathaway: Oh! I just love this quaint little community!
- Jane Hathaway: I'm off to the forest in search of my feathered friends.
- Daisy Moses: You know some Indians in these parts?
- Jane Hathaway: I'm looking forward to a thrilling ornithological adventure.
- Daisy Moses: Shorty, have you ever knowed a person that used as many big words as her?
- Shorty Kellems: Just one. Don Richardson. He come in here the other day and throwed some words at me that weighed out better than 5 pounds apiece.
- Daisy Moses: What was it, Shorty?
- Shorty Kellems: Well, he's talkin about this law case and he said somethin other was uh... was uh... incompatible overt offense.
- Daisy Moses: Hmm, them is heavy rascals.
- Jane Hathaway: I can wend my way through the forest to the shores of Table Rock Lake and there I hope to find a family of herons.
- Daisy Moses: Well, give em our best.
- Jed Clampett: Was that the Luke Heron?
- Jane Hathaway: Oh, no, no, no, no. The heron I'm looking for stands in the water on his long skinny legs and gobbles up crawdads and frogs in his enormous mouth.
- Jed Clampett: Well if that ain't Luke Heron, it's his twin brother.
- Daisy Moses: Oh please, Eck, where is Elly's cake?
- Eck Bozeman: Right over there.
- Daisy Moses: You're usin' it for a millstone?
- Eck Bozeman: The best I've ever had.
- Daisy Moses: Jethro will know what them big words means. He's been plumb through the 6th grade.
- Jethro Bodine: What words is that?
- Shorty Kellems: Incompatible overt offense.
- Jethro Bodine: Ah, that's easy. All you gotta do is break them words down to their root meanings. In, compat, able, overt, offense.
- Daisy Moses: What does it mean?
- Jethro Bodine: It means: you come in and pat a bull, and you better get over the fence.
- Jane Hathaway: In the woods, I saw him! Just right for Elly! An Adonis, a Hercules, an Apollo!
- Daisy Moses: Oh please Miss Jane, she's got enough critters now.
- Jane Hathaway: No, no. You don't understand. He was cutting down a tree near the lake.
- Jed Clampett: She don't need another beaver.
- Daisy Moses: Miss Jane is runnin' like the devil hisself is after her.
- Jed Clampett: I was worried about her goin' out in the woods dressed like that. Like as not, somebody mistook her for a revenuer.
- Daisy Moses: Oh, everybody knows there ain't no girl revenuers.
- Jed Clampett: Yeah, but not everybody knows she's a girl.
- Matthew Templeton: She's a good cook, huh?
- Daisy Moses: There ain't nobody can touch that girl's food.