The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)

The Boarder (1964)

Arthur Treacher: Arthur Pinckney

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Pinckney : Where are my quarters?

  Jethro Bodine : Forget it. Granny says no tippin'.

• Mr. Pinckney : You are never to address me as Arthur, only as Mr. Pinckney, sir.

  Daisy Moses : I ain't no sir!

  Jed Clampett : I wouldn't fault him for that. Maybe he don't see so good, he's lost half his glasses.

• Jed Clampett : Mr. Pinckney, we want you to think of yourself as one of the family.

  Mr. Pinckney : What a nauseating suggestion.

• Mr. Pinckney : I shall fight you in the drawing room, I shall fight you in the bed chambers, I shall fight you in the kitchen, and I shall so bear myself that if Arthur Pinckney and his fame last for a thousand years, men will still say, This was his finest hour.

• Mr. Pinckney : Young man, kindly remove your cousin from the chandelier.

  Jethro Bodine : Oh heck, Bessie ain't my cousin.

  Mr. Pinckney : Really?

• Mr. Pinckney : What is that?

  [points to the chimp dusting the chandelier] 

  Elly May Clampett : That's Cousin Bessie.

  Mr. Pinckney : [Pinckney's monocle falls out]  Cousin Bessie?

  Elly May Clampett : Yeah. Ain't she a doozy. Why she can hang on with one hand and dust with three.

• Mr. Pinckney : You're setting a fine example for young Master Jethro.

  Jed Clampett : Come on, young Mosster Jethro.

• Mr. Pinckney : I will dress you, sir.

  Jed Clampett : You'll what?

  Mr. Pinckney : Dress you, sir.

  Jed Clampett : I wouldn't bet on that.

  Mr. Pinckney : But you need my help, sir.

  Jed Clampett : I been dressin' myself for a lotta years and I aim to keep right on doin' it.

  Mr. Pinckney : I insist, sir.

  Jed Clampett : You wanna dress me, you got to shoot me and skin me first.