The Beverly Hillbillies (TV Series)
The Clampetts Go Fishing (1964)
Buddy Ebsen: Jed Clampett
Photos
Quotes
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Jed Clampett : Granny, me and ol' Duke here is plumb tuckered out. We walked clean over to the golf pasture lookin' fer some game.
Daisy Moses : What'd you git?
Jed Clampett : We got mean-mouthed and stick-chased outta there.
Daisy Moses : You mean you come home with nuthin', empty-handed?
Jed Clampett : Well we did manage to find a few of them golf eggs.
Daisy Moses : Throw 'em out, Jed. They just can't be cooked. I boiled 'em and poached 'em and fried 'em and they still come out gummy as an old boot.
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Jed Clampett : Well it looks like we is caught betwixt and between, Granny. Folks don't want me shootin' a gun and when I snare the game, Elly makes a pet out of it.
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Elly May Clampett : It's a baby walrus. Ain't he cute, Pa? Can I take him home?
Jed Clampett : Hadn't better, Elly. He'd remind Granny too much of Lafe Crick.
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Daisy Moses : [Jethro reels in a boot] Elly, fetch my pole, quick!
Jed Clampett : What fer? This ain't nothin' but a boot.
Daisy Moses : I know it. I wanna fish fer the other one. They're better'n the ones I'm wearin'.
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Daisy Moses : [Granny is trying to cook the fish trophy] When you gonna commence to tenderin' up, you wall-eyed ocean-goin' varmint?
Jed Clampett : You cookin' that fish?
Daisy Moses : I ain't givin' him a bath.
Jed Clampett : He said he already been prepared by experts, somethin' or other...
Daisy Moses : Taxi driver.
Jed Clampett : That sounds like it, yeah.
Daisy Moses : He better stick to drivin'' taxis. He don't know shucks about fish. I've been boilin' this rascal for 2 hours and he's still as tough as harness leather.
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Jed Clampett : I reckon it'd hurt Mr. Drysdale's feelin's considerable if he was to find out we didn't eat his fish.
Jethro Bodine : But Uncle Jed, I purt near broke a tooth on that thing.
Daisy Moses : If Jethro can't bite through it, nobody can.
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Jed Clampett : You know any good fishin' bridges, Jethro?
Jethro Bodine : Only bridge I know goes over the Los Angeles river.
Daisy Moses : Ain't nothin' like a river for catfish. Let's get goin'.
Jethro Bodine : Wasn't much water in it last time we was there.
Jed Clampett : Maybe the beavers had it dammed up.
Elly May Clampett : If'n they still there, can I bring home a beaver?