- Daisy Moses: I come up with a cold cure 45 years ago.
- Jane Hathaway: You did?
- Daisy Moses: Well I thought everybody knew. It was wrote up in the Razorback Hog Breeders Gazette.
- Jed Clampett: Right on the front page.
- Milburn Drysdale: Aren't you going to give me a shot of something?
- Dr. Roy Clyburn: Well if you insist. I imagine I have some brandy around somewhere.
- Milburn Drysdale: I mean a shot for my cold, like penicillin.
- Dr. Roy Clyburn: Brandy will do you just as much good and it won't hurt.
- Jane Hathaway: If she does treat a patient, somebody is going to jail.
- Milburn Drysdale: Oh stop worrying. Your job will be waiting for you when you get out.
- Jane Hathaway: Your cold cure really works?
- Daisy Moses: Positively if you follow directions
- Booth: By the way, what are the directions?
- Daisy Moses: Take one spoonful of cold cure, eat sensible, get lots of rest and drink plenty of water.
- Jed Clampett: And in a week or ten days, your cold'll be gone.
- Dr. Roy Clyburn: All I need is for you to file a complaint.
- Booth: Oh I have no complaint. I've just been made west coast distributor for the first cold cure in medical history.