- Jed Clampett: Granny's always felt special close to Gloria Swanson.
- Daisy Moses: We is look-a-likes, ya know.
- Jethro Bodine: You and Gloria Swanson look-a-likes?
- Daisy Moses: If I've heard it once, I've heard it a hundred times!
- Jethro Bodine: Is she kiddin' Uncle Jed?
- Jed Clampett: No, I've heard it a hundred times myself. Course it was always Granny that said it.
- Daisy Moses: [standing next to a painting of Gloria Swanson] Ya notice how our eyes is alike?
- Jethro Bodine: Yeah, you both got two.
- Daisy Moses: I wanna ask Miss Swanson when she's gonna make another picture like "Society Scandal".
- Gloria Swanson: Ah, "Society Scandal". You remember that one?
- Daisy Moses: Yeah, Jed and me seen it twice.
- Gloria Swanson: Now that was a long time ago.
- Daisy Moses: Oh yes, clean last summer.
- Gloria Swanson: You two attended the silent film festival in Venice?
- Jed Clampett: No Ma'am. We seen it at the Bijou Theater back in Bug Tussle.
- Jed Clampett: Miss Swanson, don't judge the whole country by these fickle Hollywood folks. Back home, you is the queen of the movies. You always have been and you always will be.
- Daisy Moses: Did you see that coat?
- Jed Clampett: I reckon that explains what happened to the other 5 cats.
- Elly May Clampett: Awful!
- Daisy Moses: Poor woman.
- Jethro Bodine: She's really hard up. ain't she?
- Jed Clampett: She is for a fact. It's bad enough havin' to sell her bathtub, but when it comes to skinnin' her cats for clothes...
- [the Clampletts leave, crying]
- Jethro Bodine: How come she don't make no more movies?
- Jed Clampett: Well Jethro, I understand that's the show business. One day, you're livin' high on the hog, next day you're down to wearin' a cat-skin coat.