- Daisy Moses: [about Marie, the upstairs maid, who curtsies when she greets the Clampetts] Ain't nothin' wrong with that girl but what some good cookin' will cure her. She's half-starved.
- Jed Clampett: Poor thing is so weak, her knees keeps abucklin' on her.
- Jane Hathaway: Actually you'll find the Clampetts to be basically fine people. All they need is a little polish.
- Milburn Drysdale: Polish? They need sandblasting.
- Jethro Bodine: Miss Hathaway, she gimme a present last night. She said it's something special fer to go swimmin' in.
- Daisy Moses: What she give ya?
- Jethro Bodine: Oh, pair o' trunks.
- Jed Clampett: Eh, you go swimmin' in the ceement pond!
- [to Granny]
- Jed Clampett: Boy's too big to go swimmin' in a trunk.