- Catherine Piper: All I'm saying is, if you killed two people... there couldn't be a better time to turn to Jesus Christ, your savior.
- Bernard Ferrion: Under normal circumstances I'd agree.
- Catherine Piper: But?
- Bernard Ferrion: I'm Jewish.
- Catherine Piper: Bernie, there has never been a Jewish serial killer.
- Bernard Ferrion: Son of Sam. David Berkowitz.
- Catherine Piper: He was adopted. Genetically, he's one of ours.
- Bernard Ferrion: Well, what are you saying?
- Catherine Piper: I'm saying that if you're out there murdering people on some level you must want to be Christian. Would you let me take you to church?
- Alan Shore: Bernie, I like Catherine Piper. I very much want her to go on living, the chances of which are lessened if she keeps your company.
- Bernard Ferrion: Go screw yourself.
- Alan Shore: What did you just say to me?
- Bernard Ferrion: You heard me. It's not like me to curse. I've, I've only said it once before in my entire life.
- Alan Shore: Undoubtedly to mother.
- Bernard Ferrion: Go screw yourself, Alan!
- Alan Shore: Now we're up to three times.
- Donny Crane: I took this case mainly to kick your fat lying ass. I mean that in a good way. I will beat you.
- Denny Crane: I can't be beat.
- Donny Crane: Really?
- Denny Crane: Never lost, never will.
- Donny Crane: I beat you in the Salmon case.
- Denny Crane: You beat Brad Chase. Me? Undefeated.
- Denny Crane: Rhina...
- Chelina Hall: Chelina.
- Denny Crane: I've decided to take the defendant's cross.
- Chelina Hall: Mr. Crane, I'm not sure that's a good idea.
- Denny Crane: Well, whose idea is it?
- Chelina Hall: Yours.
- Denny Crane: Well, it must be good.