- Richie: Now can we just get our equipment out! I mean get our tackle out... no I mean get our GEAR out, oh god! You can't say anything without some dreadful double entendre lurking around the corner!
- Richie: Listen, Eddie. I think there's something outside!
- Eddie: Yeah, well, there's bound to be something outside, Richie. You can't expect the universe and its entire contents to be contained within the confines of a small canvas tent.
- Richie: You're very philosophical for this time of night, Eddie.
- Eddie: Yeah, well, I've had half a bottle of Scotch, what'd you expect?
- [while camping in the park]
- Richie: Come on, Eddie! We don't need birds! Besides, if we don't do it, we'll lose that bet with Mad Ken Stalin that we can live rough in the country for a week. And we haven't got fifty quid, and I'd rather hang on to my kneecaps if it's all the same with you.
- Eddie: A WEEK?
- Richie: Ah, er, yes, I... I was hoping to break that to you on a more opportune moment...
- Eddie: A BLOODY WEEK?
- Richie: Yeah, well I wasn't the one who got drunk and bet him he couldn't stick a dart in his temple! Once he'd done that, he had us over a barrel.
- Eddie: But I've only got enough underwear for tonight!
- Richie: That's all you've ever had!
- Eddie: That's true!
- Richie: [talking about the Wombles] Eddie would it mentally scar you if I told you there were just puppets?
- Eddie: Yes it would actually.
- Richie: Good
- [evil grin]
- Richie: . Eddie they were just puppets!
- Eddie: [points with the stick] Well what's that then?
- Richie: [yells] That Eddie, is a hedgehog.
- Richie: No it's not! That is Great Uncle Bulgaria.
- Richie: Well the series has taken a sad turn for the worst then because he's running about in the nude.
- Eddie: [perverted grin] Cor! The wombles have got x-rated!
- [while camping in the park, Richie has put up a very small tent]
- Eddie: Right, well that's the toilet tent. Where do we sleep?
- Richie: Oh, hahahahahahaha, look out everybody, I'm about to blow my trousers off in merriment at Eddie's sarcasm!
- Eddie: Well, you mean that's the whole tent?
- Richie: Eddie, this isn't just a tent. This is a World Ranger Stormbuster 4. You can go anywhere in that.
- Eddie: Yeah, and we probably will as soon as the breeze gets up.
- Richie: Hey, hey, don't knock it! You'll be glad with this when the bomb drops.
- Eddie: What? You think that's gonna withstand a twenty megaton nuclear blast?
- Richie: Well, you'll be sleeping in it tonight, so we'll find out, won't we?
- Richie: Oh, this is great, isn't it?
- Eddie: What?
- Richie: [Gestures around him] This.
- Eddie: No.
- Richie: You poor, sad, deformed, urban pustule. This is real life. Nature, struggle, destiny, where's your romance?
- Eddie: Well, she works in SKetchley on a Saturday afternoon, I should be going out with her tonight.
- [Check his watch]
- Eddie: That's a point, if I nip off now, I can just get to the chemist before they shut.
- Richie: You stay where you are, Judas! Where's your sense of adventure?
- Eddie: Ah now, she's in Chiswick!
- Richie: No, I mean, where's your spunk? No! No! Let's avoid that line of questioning, shall we?