Photos
Quotes
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Richie : [Deleted scene] Now don't you worry, Eddie, there's more than three ways to kill a monkey.
Eddie : Are there?
Richie : Oh yes, yes indeed, yes indeedy-do.
Eddie : What are they then?
Richie : What are what?
Eddie : What are these secret and mystical ways of killing monkeys?
Richie : Ah... well... give me your ladle.
[Eddie hands him a ladle]
Richie : Give me your hat.
[Eddie removes his hat, Richie hits him on the head a few times with the ladle and throws it away]
Richie : Now shut up, I'll do the thinking, I'm the leader.
Eddie : No, you're not, I'm the leader!
Richie : It's pathological with you, isn't it? Just automatically contradicting everything I have to say. Twenty-five years, day in, day out, constantly gainsaying every positive statement I make.
Eddie : No, I don't.
Richie : There, you did it again, you bastard!
Eddie : Git!
Richie : Oaf!
Eddie : Git!
Richie : Simpleton! Turd! Orangutan!
Mr. Rottweiler : [They argue until Mr Rottweiler shouts out of the window] What the bloody hell's going on out here? Shut it! Or I'll start shooting!
[He goes back in]
Eddie : [Softly] Git.
Richie : Enough of that, come on, let's synchronize watches. At a quarter to two a.m. Five, four, three, two, one, click. Oh, it says quarter to three now. Or is that the date? Nevermind, I was only trying to be sexy.
Eddie : Failed rather miserably, didn't you?
Richie : Just shut up, get on with it!
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Mr. Rottweiler : MY KITCHEN! IT'S ON FIRE! SOMEONE CALL THE GAS BOARD!
Mr. Rottweiler : [Opens front door]
Gasman : Hello, I'm from the gas board!
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Richie : Evening Mr. Rottweiler!
Mr. Rottweiller : What is it?
Richie : Just a friendly visit. May we come in?
Mr. Rottweiller : Bugger off, I've got a bird upstairs!
Richie : But we've brought you round... half a bottle of sherry.
Eddie : Hic!
Mr. Rottweiller : Ta very much. Anything else?
Lolly : [from inside] Who is it darling?
Mr. Rottweiller : It's them bastards from next door! I won't be a tick.
Eddie : Have you got a real woman in there?
Richie : Cor! Can we have a look?
Mr. Rottweiller : Sod off!
Richie : Oh no, go on, go on, just a peek.
Eddie : Do you mind if I get my camera?
Mr. Rottweiller : Look, don't make me angry! Something very special's happened to me. I'm in love!, It's the real thing!, So I don't want you two jerks coming round messing things up, d'you understand? If I see either of you again tonight, I'll kill ya!
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Mr. Rottweiler : [Shoves gasman into the kitchen] Look! My kitchen's on fire!
Gasman : My god, no wonder your gas bill's so high! How did this happen?
Mr. Rottweiler : You tell me, face-ache, you're the bleeding expert!
Gasman : Well, where are the other two?
Mr. Rottweiler : What other two?
Gasman : The two loonies from next door, they were here a moment ago.
Mr. Rottweiler : Here, in my flat?
Gasman : Aye, large as life.
[Rottweiler is furious]
