- Angela Moore: Well, is anyone of us safe?
- Shawn Hunter: Yeah, Virgins! Virgins never die!
- Cory Matthews: [Turns to Topanga] All right! Thanks for saving me.
- Eric Matthews: [proud of himself] I'm dead.
- Jack Hunter: I'm dead.
- Shawn Hunter: I'll get as sick as you can get without actually dying.
- Angela Moore: Feeny, he's dead.
- Shawn Hunter, Eric Matthews: [sing-songy] Go, Feeny! Go, Feeny! Go, Feeny!
- Shawn Hunter: Something horrible is about to walk through that door right... NOW!
- [Door opens to reveal Jack and Eric]
- Eric Matthews: Hidey-Ho!
- Angela Moore: This doesn't make any sense.
- Shawn Hunter: It does if you've seen as many horror movies as I have. This is classic. The locked door, the scary janitor, the bloody warning and... our soon to be first victim.
- [Everyone looks at Kenny]
- Kenny: Me? Why me?
- Cory Matthews: Well, Kenny, it's certainly not going to be any of us.
- George Feeny: This class will not be more interested in the romantic goings on of its students than it is in whatever the hell I'm teaching!
- Eric Matthews: Killer, killer... and I know you're gonna tell me you're not the killer... 'cause you're beautiful and...
- Jennifer Love Fefferman: I'm not the killer.
- Eric Matthews: I believe you.
- [starts kissing her]
- Angela Moore: But that would mean...
- Eric Matthews: Dun, Dun, Dun.
- Cory Matthews: The killer is one of us.
- Shawn Hunter: Like in 'The Killer is One of Us.'
- Eric Matthews: Dun, Dun, Dun.
- Topanga Lawrence-Matthews: Enough already!
- Shawn Hunter: Why? Do we upset you?
- Topanga Lawrence-Matthews: Yes.
- Cory Matthews: Upset you enough... to kill?
- Eric Matthews: Dun, dun, dun. I'm done.
- Angela Moore: There's blood on the blackboard, Shawn, I don't think it's because he ran out of chalk!
- Shawn Hunter: [everybody hears the squeaking of the janitor's approaching cart] Don-don't say it, don't!
- Cory Matthews: The janitor's the killer!
- Shawn Hunter: And that's the end of the janitor!
- Shawn Hunter: Can you believe this? Feeny locked us in!
- Cory Matthews: He can't do that! It's against the Geneva Detention Convention.
- Cory Matthews: I didn't think seniors still got detention.
- George Feeny: They do when they act like two-year-olds.
- Cory Matthews: [mockingly] They do when they act like two-year-olds.
- George Feeny: Mr. Matthews when one mocks someone one should wait until they're not looking right at them.
- Cory Matthews: I'm not in my regular seat.
- Jack Hunter: [Jack finds Eric and Jennifer dead] Eric! Feffy! Eric! He was my friend, my roommate! I didn't really know her.
- Cory Matthews: [Kenny is found dead, stabbed in the head with a pencil; his body slides down the wall. Cory points to a spot of blood on the wall] We'll always remember he was that tall.
- Scream-Like Killer Voice: What's your favorite scary movie?
- Jack Hunter: Oooh! Well, I like the one with the hottie-hot-hot from Party of Five.
- Jennifer Love Fefferman: Neve Campbell?
- Eric Matthews: Duh.
- Eric Matthews: What's your name?
- Jennifer Love Fefferman: Jennifer Love Fefferman.
- Eric Matthews: May I call you Feffie?
- Jennifer Love Fefferman: Everyone does.
- Eric Matthews: [talking on the phone] Oh hey,
- [to everybody]
- Eric Matthews: It's the killer. Uh huh, uh huh, okay, bye.
- [hangs up]
- Cory Matthews: What did he say? Was he mad?
- Eric Matthews: He said what all killers say. He's going to come and kill us, he wants us to wait right here.
- [everybody runs off]
- Kenny: All I wanted was a pencil.
- Cory Matthews: Oh shut up Kenny! You're lucky to even be here.
- Kenny: I don't happen to see it that way.
- Shawn Hunter: [standing up] Mr. Feeny. I'm sure if you recall the pain of being stabbed in the back by the girlfriend...
- Topanga Lawrence: [also standing up] I didn't stab him! He stabbed me!
- Cory Matthews: [standing up as well] Oh, I'd stab myself before stabbing you! Kenny, give me your pencil!
- Kenny: I don't have one!
- George Feeny: Something bad happened, Mr. Hunter, and for the first time, you're not responsible for it.
- Shawn Hunter: Then how come I feel so bad?
- George Feeny: Well, because you're a troubled young man. I recognize that from the movie "The Troubled Young Man."
- Shawn Hunter: Well, Cory and Topanga aren't together anymore.
- George Feeny: Yes, I know. I, too, read "Teen Beat," Mr. Hunter.
- Shawn Hunter: [Every horror cliche he has predicted has come true] Why won't you believe me? It's all so predictable.
- Jack Hunter: Oh, yeah? Then what's going to happen next?
- Shawn Hunter: First, there'll be some strange, shrouded figure that none of us will see.
- [They all turn around and don't see anybody; the killer creeps across them in front]
- Shawn Hunter: Then the lights will flicker and Feeny will pop up and reveal his master plan to us.
- P.A. Announcer: [the lights flicker] Here's a knife. Here's a gun. There'll be fun for everyone. Death is on the menu tonight!
- [Feeny appears in the hallway; the others laugh]
- Cory Matthews: Mr. Feeny, I have got to hand it to you. You have really outdone yourself this time. I mean, killing Kenny, obvious choice. But the pencil! George! I mean, that was genius!
- Shawn Hunter: I knew it was you all along. What's the big lesson? What were you trying to teach us?
- [He pats Feeny on the back; Feeny falls to his knees, then on his face, a pair of scissors sticking out of his back. Topanga falls to her knees]
- Eric Matthews: Oh my gosh! They killed Feeny!
- [Everybody runs away]
- Shawn Hunter: I was wrong!
- Shawn Hunter: [Every horror cliche he has predicted has come true] Why won't you believe me? It's all so predictable.
- Jack Hunter: Oh, yeah? Then what's going to happen next?
- Shawn Hunter: First, there'll be some strange, shrouded figure creeping behind us that none of us will see.
- [They all turn around and don't see anybody; the killer creeps across them in front]
- Shawn Hunter: Then the lights will flicker and Feeny will pop up and reveal his master plan to us.
- P.A. Announcer: [the lights flicker] Here's a knife. Here's a gun. There'll be fun for everyone. Death is on the menu tonight!
- [Feeny appears in the hallway; the others laugh]
- Cory Matthews: Mr. Feeny, I have got to hand it to you. You have really outdone yourself this time. I mean, killing Kenny, obvious choice. But the pencil! George! I mean, that was genius!
- Shawn Hunter: I knew it was you all along. What's the big lesson? What were you trying to teach us?
- [He pats Feeny on the back; Feeny falls to his knees, then on his face, a pair of scissors sticking out of his back. Topanga falls to her knees]
- Eric Matthews: Oh my gosh! They killed Feeny!
- [Everybody runs away]
- Shawn Hunter: I was wrong!
- [after hearing the squeaking of the janitor's garbage can]
- Angela Moore: It's coming closer! He's coming! He's coming for all of us!
- Angela Moore: There's blood on the black board! I don't think it's because he ran out of chalk Shawn!
- Cory Matthews: Topanga... do we upset you?
- Topanga Lawrence-Matthews: Yes!
- Cory Matthews: Upset you enough... to kill?
- Cory Matthews: Ok, i think we need to face it, everybody. one of us is a crazy... psychopathy murderer... the question is... which on of us is it