- Topanga Lawrence: Because it would be interesting if all your life you remembered that your first kiss happened when you thought you looked weird. Wouldn't it?
- Topanga Lawrence: Why do you care so much what other people think? When people laugh at you, they're depleting their own karmic reservoir.
- Cory Matthews: [pauses] You're gonna be one of those girls who doesn't shave her legs, aren't you?
- Topanga Lawrence: Cory, I got Jedediah to drive me to your house after school.
- Cory Matthews: Who's Jedediah?
- Topanga Lawrence: My father.
- Cory Matthews: Wait. You call your father Jedediah?
- Topanga Lawrence: That's his name. What do you call your father?
- Cory Matthews: Well, like a lot of normal people, I refer to him as Dad.
- Topanga Lawrence: Well, then how do you tell him apart from all the other dads?
- Cory Matthews: Shawn and I have another project we're working on.
- Topanga Lawrence: Really? What is it?
- Shawn Hunter: Well, you know how those dolphins get caught in the tuna nets?
- Topanga Lawrence: Yeah?
- Shawn Hunter: It's got nothin' to do with that.
- Topanga Lawrence: Give me your hand.
- Cory Matthews: Why?
- Topanga Lawrence: I want to see if our energies converge.
- [Cory reluctantly reaches out his hand. Topanga takes it and looks at it for a few seconds]
- Shawn Hunter: [sarcastically] Ooh-ooh!
- [Topanga lets go of Cory's hand and turns to Mr. Feeny]
- Topanga Lawrence: He's vibrationally acceptable.
- Stuart Minkus: Are you proposing to help us?
- Cory Matthews: Yeah. I guess I am.
- Topanga Lawrence: Why?
- Cory Matthews: Because life is strange, and now, so am I.
- Cory Matthews: [after having been paired up with Topanga] Uh, Mr. Feeny, may I approach the bench?
- George Feeny: Objection, Mr. Matthews?
- Cory Matthews: Can you be swayed on this?
- George Feeny: I'm Gibraltar.
- Cory Matthews: Come on, Mr. Feeny. Topanga's, like, totally strange.
- George Feeny: Strange is in the eye of the beholder, Mr. Matthews. I, for example, have a young neighbor who sings along with his little sister's Barney records.
- Cory Matthews: You hear that?
- Morgan Matthews: Mommy, if my dolly is cold can I put her in the toaster oven?
- Amy Matthews: No, honey. That would be a mistake.
- Morgan Matthews: Mommy?
- Amy Matthews: What?
- Morgan Matthews: I made a mistake.
- [the rest of the class is laughing at him for his hair]
- Cory Matthews: [to Topanga] Go ahead, laugh.
- Topanga Lawrence: [very seriously] Your hair looks different. Why would I laugh?
- Cory Matthews: No one's gonna sign your petition.
- Topanga Lawrence: Why not?
- Cory Matthews: Because you're weird.
- [the others look at him]
- Cory Matthews: However, I say that respectfully, since I am now one of you.
- Cory Matthews: Yeah, we could do that in front of the class. But before we do, will you just please take a huge baseball bat and hit me over the head?
- Shawn Hunter: Wow. Feeny must really hate your guts.
- Cory Matthews: Could be worse. At least he didn't give me Minkus.
- Shawn Hunter: Hey, Minkus doesn't like me, he doesn't trust me, and he doesn't respect me. So he's doing the whole assignment by himself. In my book, Stuart Minkus is a god.
- Topanga Lawrence: [to Cory] Why do you care so much what other people think? When people laugh at you, they're depleting their own karmic reservoir.
- Cory Matthews: You're going to be one of those girls who doesn't shave her legs, aren't you?
- Cory Matthews: Listen up, family. Because I admit I didn't know what I was doing when I put this stuff on my head and I admit I didn't know what it was going to do to me, but here's the thing I do know. I am under no circumstances going to school tomorrow. Is that clear? No school for Cory. School. Cory. No.
- [scene cuts to Cory in school the next day]
- Cory Matthews: [to Shawn] So, should this stuff be burning?
- Shawn Hunter: Why, is it burning?
- Cory Matthews: No, I'm just trying to make conversation because we never really get to talk.
- Shawn Hunter: How bad's it burning?
- Cory Matthews: Call your sister. Ask her if my ears should feel like throbbing jalapenos.
- Shawn Hunter: [on the phone] Hi, Stacey. It's me. Listen, Cory wants to know if that stuff you sent over should be burning. Uh-huh. Really?
- Cory Matthews: Hurting! Hurting now!
- Shawn Hunter: Stacey wants to know how long it's been burning?
- Cory Matthews: Forty, forty-five minutes.
- Shawn Hunter: Forty-five minutes.
- Cory Matthews: Shawn, I'm going to rip my head off!
- Shawn Hunter: Stacey says you should've washed it out 45 minutes ago.
- Cory Matthews: Aah!
- [runs into the bathroom]
- Shawn Hunter: Stacey says you shouldn't have left it in so long. Stacey says, "Why didn't you two idiots read the label?" Oh, thanks, Stace.
- [Cory runs out of the bathroom screaming]
- Amy Matthews: Cory, what did you do to your beautiful hair?
- Cory Matthews: It wasn't beautiful. It looked like Velcro.
- Eric Matthews: Nothing's going to stick to that now, man.
- Morgan Matthews: [to Amy] I don't like my new dolly. She's not wearing a pretty dress.
- Amy Matthews: Well, honey, she's a businesswoman. I mean, this dolly has gone to college, has a good job and doesn't need Ken to support her.