- Eric Matthews: I wanna make the happiness of the entire world my responsibility. What an idiot. What am I supposed to do? I made all those little kids smile. Took care of everybody that came to see me. No disrespect but why would you send me that little boy? Why doesn't that nice little boy have parents? Why doesn't that nice little boy have parents? Why did you send me that little kid? And why do I only come to you when I need something. I mean you shouldn't have to take care of everything, right? I will take care of this. I can be responsible for the happiness of one little boy.
- Eric Matthews: Tommy and I met when I was Santa. He thought I was really Santa.
- Tommy: Now I know he's Eric.
- Eric Matthews: Yeah. He said we could still hang out though.
- Tommy: Eric said we could hang out on weekends.
- Eric Matthews: Yeah, it'll be like he's got a big brother.
- Cory Matthews: Well, he's a good one, Tommy.
- Eric Matthews: I figured it was something I could do.
- Cory Matthews: Shawn, the dorms are closing. Your father is missing again. Why wouldn't you come to my house for Christmas?
- Shawn Hunter: Because I hate being the third wheel.
- Cory Matthews: Oh, please. You know, you've been the third wheel with me and Topanga so long I think of us as a tricycle. You know, without our third wheel, what would we be?
- Shawn Hunter: A bicycle?
- Jack Hunter: I'm not gonna be an elf. I was depressed enough about not going to the Bajamas, this little green, pointy hat is gonna really push me over the edge.
- Rachel McGuire: Oh, come on, Jack. Look, we're stuck here in town alone. Look, we'll be working together. It'll be fun.
- [She puts the green hat on his head and immediately begins laughing]
- Rachel McGuire: Oh, look how cute you are!
- Eric Matthews: Yeah, plus you're gonna be making like five bucks an hour.
- Jack Hunter: Wait a second, you get twelve bucks an hour?
- Eric Matthews: Hi, I'm Santa. You're just an elf. Read your bible.
- Topanga Lawrence: You invited Shawn?
- Cory Matthews: Wait a minute. Why?
- Topanga Lawrence: I invited Angela.
- Cory Matthews: You invited Angela? Who said you could invite Angela? She's gonna kill me!
- Topanga Lawrence: Oh my God. Shawn's gonna blame me for this. Hey. Why would Angela kill you?
- Cory Matthews: Hey. Why would Shawn blame you?
- Topanga Lawrence: You know something about Angela.
- Cory Matthews: You know something about Shawn!
- Topanga Lawrence: Alright. On the count of three.
- Topanga Lawrence, Cory Matthews: One, two, three!
- Cory Matthews: Angela's still in love with Shawn!
- [realizes he's been set up]
- Cory Matthews: I hate that!
- Manager: Santa? Mrs C? Elf-boy? Yeah, I just got word that, uh, a busload of children from St. Mary's just arrived. Now, these are children without parents and no money at all so you know that that means.
- Rachel McGuire: [sad] Yeah.
- Manager: That they're not gonna buy anything so get rid of 'em as fast as you can. Ugh. Here comes the little darlings now.
- [puts on a smile and excitedly walks towards the kids]
- Manager: Hello you little darlings!
- Eric Matthews: Wow.
- Rachel McGuire: No parents.
- Jack Hunter: That's really tough.
- Eric Matthews: You know what? We should give them a little attention.