- [the Judge is enraged when someone broke into his store and stole food, ammunition and a rifle]
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Just wait till I catch him. I'll throw the book at him! I'll give at least fifty years!
- Calamity: Judge, you've got to take this calmly. Remember your blood pressure.
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Oh, it ain't my blood pressure that's up, Calamity, it's my dander!
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Wait'll I get my clothes on. I'll go out and catch that sidewinder!
- [while Calamity distracts the Judge with her imaginary stomach ache, Bill rides off in pursuit of the thief, leaving the Judge to eat his dust]
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Why that young whippersnapper!
- [to Calamity]
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: You know that awful pain and ache you had in your tummy just a minute a go, young lady?
- Calamity: Y-y-yes.
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Well, it's going to be transferred to the seat of your pants!
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Laws ain't made to exclude young folks, Calamity. If he's old enough to steal, he's old enough to take his punishment.
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Well, I guess there's nothing left to be judged, and it's my painful duty to find you guilty as charged
- Calamity: But, Judge, you can't put him in prison!
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: And as Judge of this court, it's my duty to pronounce sentence. I sentence you to a hot bath... with plenty of soap and water - and a good home-cooked meal. And furthermore, you'll remain in the custody of me and Bill till we can find out where in tarnation you come from.
- [Calamity enters the room where and Bill is giving Bobby a bath]
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: There you are, Bobby. Now as soon as you dry off, you can use this shirt here - and don't try sneakin' out on me.
- Calamity: Don't worry, Bill. I'll keep an eye on him!
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: Under the circumstances, my dear little sister, you better do your watching from outside.
- Calamity: I told you everything would be alright, Bobby. He's my brother. He can do anything!
- Buffalo Bill Jr.: Except hold rein on you, little sister.
- [last lines]
- Judge Ben 'Fair and Square' Wiley: Still plannin' on headin' further west, Tom?
- Tom Bishop: No, Judge, I think we found our home. We kind of like Wileyville and the people in it.
- Bobby Bishop: Sure do, Pa!
- Calamity: That's good, Bobby, because in about ten years or so, I got plans for you!
- Bobby Bishop: Gosh, Pa, now it looks like I'm the one with the troubles.