- Andrew Wells: I just hope she solves it faster than Data did on the ep of TNG where the Enterprise kept blowing up.
- Warren Meers: Or-Or Mulder, in that X-Files where the bank kept exploding.
- Andrew Wells: Scully wants me so bad.
- Buffy Summers: Tonight sucks! And look at me. Look at-Look at stupid Buffy. Too dumb for college, and-and-and freak Buffy. Too strong for construction work. And-And my job at the Magic Shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end. And the only person that I can even stand to be around is a... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker.
- [notices the large pile of books]
- Buffy Summers: Uh, is this all research or just some kind of stress test for the table?
- [trying to remain inconspicuous, the horn of the Trio's van blares the "Star Wars" theme]
- Andrew Wells: [to the others] Hey, all you said was lose the mural.
- Jonathan Levinson: I need you to hold hands.
- Andrew: With each other?
- Warren Meers: Well, you know what homophobia really means about you, don't you?
- Jonathan Levinson: Stop touching my magic bone!
- Rupert Giles: Buffy, a word in your ear. Um, if you, uh, think of the store as a- as a library, it'll help you to concentrate on-on, uh, service rather than selling.
- Buffy Summers: Yes. And then I'm going to marry Bob Dole and raise penguins in Guam.
- Rupert Giles: [cleaning his glasses and not really listening] Yes, uh, quite right. Yes.
- Warren Meers: Wh-What the hell is that?
- Andrew Wells: Death Star, dude! Wicked, huh?
- Jonathan Levinson: Thermal exhaust port's *above* the main port, numb nuts.
- Andrew Wells: For your information, I'm using the Empire's revised designs from Return of the Jedi.
- Jonathan Levinson: That's a flawed design!
- Warren Meers: We tested her, faced her, and we survived.
- Jonathan Levinson: Unless I have internal injuries that will eventually kill me.
- Andrew Wells: Oh, of course. But, barring that, Warren's right. We did good!
- Willow Rosenberg: You're not dumb. Just rusty.
- Buffy Summers: Maybe I should ease back in with some non-taxing classes, like Introduction to Pies or maybe Advanced Walking.
- Andrew: Oh, she's coming over here. What do we do?
- Warren Meers: Jonathan, grab your magic bone.
- [Warren and Andrew start laughing]
- [first lines]
- Buffy Summers: [entering house] Hello?
- Willow Rosenberg: [from the kitchen] Buffy?
- Buffy Summers: Oh. Yep, it's me, and I brought dinner. Deep-fried chicken parts. Hope you're...
- [enters kitchen to see everyone already seated and eating]
- Buffy Summers: ...hungry.
- Xander Harris: Since you're not union I had to call in a few favors to get you on a crew.
- Buffy Summers: I appreciate it. Muchly. You saved me from having to accept Giles' offer to work at the Magic Box. I mean, retail?
- [shudders]
- Buffy Summers: I'd rather be dead... again.
- [last lines]
- Buffy Summers: [to Giles] I just wanna tell you... that, um... this... It makes me fell safe... knowing you're always gonna be here.
- Rupert Giles: This time anomaly and the-the-the demon attacks could be completely unrelated events. But if they're not, you might be in some danger.
- Buffy Summers: So, situation normal then.
- Buffy Summers: May I help you?
- Woman Customer: I need something for a prosperity spell. I heard you had it. A mummy hand?
- Buffy Summers: Uh, yeah. Actually, I saw one downstairs. It's kind of hairy, though. Maybe it was a daddy hand.
- Buffy Summers: You play for kittens?
- Spike: [to the demons] So, who's gonna advance me a tiny tabby, get me started?
- [all ignore him]
- Spike: Come on. Someone's got to stake me.
- Buffy Summers: I'll do it.
- [Spike looks at her]
- Buffy Summers: What? You thought I was just gonna let that lie there?
- Spike: You want a fight? You face the two of us.
- Buffy Summers: What? I'm not getting into a bar fight. I'll beat 'em up for information, great, but not to defend your rights to gamble for kittens, which, by the way, is stupid currency.