Cheers (TV Series)

Chambers vs. Malone (1987)

Ted Danson: Sam Malone

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Quotes 

• Sam Malone : [to Diane about their proposal history]  You want me to propose to you, I propose to you. You say, "no". I say, "fine, I never want to see you again". You drive me nuts telling me you want me to propose again. I do, you turn me down. Next thing I know, I'm in a court of law where I've got to propose to you or I'll go to jail. It's the classic American love story.

• Sam Malone : Do I look like a guy who is about to do something stupid?

  Carla Tortelli : Always.

• Diane Chambers : What's wrong?

  Sam Malone : I just had a flash that I got the electric chair for killing you.

  Diane Chambers : Well, that's silly. Massachussetts doesn't have the death penalty.

  Sam Malone : What?

• Sam Malone : [about Diane]  You mean I have to propose to her to keep from going to jail, where I wouldn't be going in the first place if she'd said 'yes' to any one of my three proposals?

  Judge William E. Grey : That's a very ironic way of putting it.

• [Sam is dreaming he is on death row for killing Diane] 

  Sam Malone : Father, do you really believe in the afterlife?

  Priest : Yes, my son, I do.

  Sam Malone : [about Diane]  Well, good. Maybe I can find her there and get her again.

• Sam Malone : What's the matter... you've got a weird look on your face.

  [Diane is leaning on the bar and smiling at him] 

  Diane Chambers : I don't know if I should tell you.

  Sam Malone : Well, let me help you out. Don't.

  Diane Chambers : Well Sam, this morning I woke up with the most overwhelming feeling that... you would propose today.

  Sam Malone : Phew! Talk about fate, talk about coincidence...

  Diane Chambers : [She rushes to his side]  You had the same feeling?

  Sam Malone : No, I just wish you would talk about fate or coincidence.