- Diane Chambers: Hi, I'm finally here - better late than never.
- Carla Tortelli: Wouldn't be my choice.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Normie, Normie, how did you propose to Vera?
- Norm Peterson: Well, I ah, you know something? I don't think I did. Do you think there could be a loophole in this terrible tragedy?
- Cliff Clavin: No, not if you consumated it.
- Norm Peterson: Egad, why couldn't we have had this conversation yesterday?!
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: What I want to say is... uh wait a minute.
- [pulls a piece of paper out of his breast pocket and starts to read]
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Irene, I'm not a rich man, I'm not a young man, I'm not a handsome man, I'm not a tall man, I'm not a strong man, I'm not a talented man, I'm not a well travelled man, I'm not a smart man, I'm not a milk man, I'm not a fat man, I'm not a gingerbread man, I'm not a...
- Irene Blanchard: What are you trying to say?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Ah, I don't need a piece of paper to tell you what my feelings are.
- [crumples up the paper and throws it on the floor]
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Irene, uh. Well, maybe I do.
- [picks up the paper and uncrumples it and starts to read]
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Uh, ah, Irene, I'm not a rich man, I'm not a young man...
- Diane Chambers: I trust you'll return the favor. I may have inadvertently left one or two things at your place. I'm almost sure I left my beige sweater there.
- Sam Malone: No problem, I'll take a peek under the bed.
- Diane Chambers: Oh, but you can keep that little hand puppet you loved so much.
- Sam Malone: Hand puppet?
- Diane Chambers: Yes, Brian the Lion.
- Sam Malone: Oh yeah, Brian the Lion.
- [Cut to Carla wiping down the front of the bar with what might possibly be a lion hand puppet]
- Diane Chambers: Remember how touched you were that I actually gave you something I had in my childhood.
- Sam Malone: Yeah, touched, extremely!
- [Leans over the bar, and says quietly to Carla]
- Sam Malone: I'll give you five bucks if you run out of the room right now. Go on.
- Carla Tortelli: You got it!
- [puts Brian the Lion to Sam on the bar in front of Sam. Sam picks it up and attempts to give it to the now departing Carla]
- Sam Malone: No, no, take this with...
- [He looks up and Diane sees Sam with Brian the Lion looking very much the worse for wear, in his hands. Diane inhales with a little shriek]
- Diane Chambers: Brian?
- Sam Malone: Oh, really? By golly, in this light it does look a bit like... Brian.
- Diane Chambers: Brian the Lion - a bar rag? Sam Malone, you are the most insensitive, insufferable boob I've ever had the misfortune to run across.
- Sam Malone: Oh come on, it just wasn't meant for things to work out between me and... Brian. I wasn't cut out to be a puppeteer.
- Norm Peterson: That's got to be a tough thing for a man to admit in public.
- Sam Malone: Oh come on!
- [Putting Brian the Lion in front of his face and putting on his version of a lion voice]
- Sam Malone: Oh come on, please Diane, Don't be mad at me, hmmm, please?
- Diane Chambers: Well, I guess I'm overreacting.
- Sam Malone: Oh good then how about a little kiss? Hmm?
- [Still as Brian]
- Diane Chambers: Oh-kaaay.
- Sam Malone: And put some tongue in it!
- [Diane grabs Brian the Lion, and looks at Sam with incomprehension]
- Diane Chambers: I trust you'll return the favor. I may have inadvertently left one or two things at your place. I'm almost sure I left my beige sweater there.
- Sam Malone: No problem, I'll take a peek under the bed.
- Diane Chambers: Oh, but you can keep that little hand puppet you loved so much.
- Sam Malone: Hand puppet?
- Diane Chambers: Yes, Brian the Lion.
- Sam Malone: Oh yeah, Brian the Lion.
- [Cut to Carla wiping down the front of the bar with what might possibly be a lion hand puppet]
- Diane Chambers: Remember how touched you were that I actually gave you something I had in my childhood.
- Sam Malone: Yeah, touched, extremely!
- [Leans over the bar , and says quietly to Carla]
- Sam Malone: I'll give you five bucks if you run out of the room right now. Go on.
- Carla Tortelli: You got it!
- [Puts Brian the Lion on the bar in front of Sam. Sam picks it up and attempts to give it back to the now departing Carla]
- Sam Malone: No, no, take this with...
- [He looks up and Diane sees Sam with Brian the Lion looking very much the worse for wear, in his hands. Diane inhales with a little shriek]
- Diane Chambers: Brian?
- Sam Malone: Oh, really? By golly, in this light it does look a bit like... Brian.
- Diane Chambers: Brian the Lion - a bar rag? Sam Malone, you are the most insensitive, insufferable boob I've ever had the misfortune to run across.
- Sam Malone: Oh come on, it just wasn't meant for things to work out between me and... Brian. I wasn't cut out to be a puppeteer.
- Norm Peterson: That's got to be a tough thing for a man to admit in public.
- Sam Malone: Oh come on!
- [Putting Brian the Lion in front of his face and putting on his version of a lion voice]
- Sam Malone: Oh come on, please Diane, Don't be mad at me, hmmm, please?
- Diane Chambers: Well, I guess I'm overreacting.
- Sam Malone: Oh good then how about a little kiss? Hmm?
- [Still as Brian]
- Sam Malone: Oh-kaaay.
- Sam Malone: [Still as Brian] And put some tongue in it!
- [Diane grabs Brian the Lion, and looks at Sam with incomprehension]
- Diane Chambers: Coach, that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard in this place!
- Sam Malone: Hey, wait a minute - what about when I invited you to my nude limbo party?
- Diane Chambers: Well, Sam, you seem to be working awfully had to get a date with a woman who obviously wouldn't cross the street to spit in your hair.