Cheers (TV Series)

Give Me a Ring Sometime (1982)

Shelley Long: Diane Chambers

Photos 

Quotes 

• Diane : [on the telephone for Sam]  Yes, yes, I'll take a message... You're welcome.

  [Diane hangs up the telephone] 

  Sam : Well?

  Diane : "You're a magnificent pagan beast."

  Sam : Thanks; what's the message?

• Diane : Sumner, am I stupid to let you go see a woman you were once in love with?

  Prof. Sumner Sloan : Oh, my darling, I'm leaving you alone in a bar. Which one of us is the stupider, Sam?

  Sam : Too close to call.

• Sam : [about Diane]  No Coach, she's going to be sitting here for a while...

  Diane : [taps on her glass to get Sam's attention]  Uh, excuse me. I hate to keep asking for special attention, but could you not discuss my private life with everyone that comes in?

  Sam : What would you like me to tell them?

  Diane : I don't care.

  Sam : [to Coach]  She's a hooker.

• Prof. Sumner Sloan : I can't fly to Barbados when I'm this confused.

  Diane : Sumner, it's OK. The pilot knows the way.

• Diane : [to Carla]  You're a bitter little person, aren't you?

• Diane : [about Sumner]  What he actually said was, "Come with me and be my love, and we will some new pleasures prove." That's Donne.

  Sam : I certainly hope so.

• Diane : [about baseball]  Well, if you were so good, why aren't you still playing?

  Sam : I developed an elbow problem.

  [Sam simulates hoisting a bottle to his mouth] 

  Sam : I, uh, bent it too much.

• [Diane is sitting at the bar and needs to go to the ladies room] 

  Diane : Excuse me. Where is your bathroom?

  Coach : Uh, next to my bedroom.

• [phone rings. Diane answers it] 

  Diane : Hello?... Sam?

  [Sam comes out of the office] 

  Diane : Are you Sam?

  Sam : [with his mouth full of coffee]  Yes.

  Diane : [into phone]  Yes, he's here.

  [hands Sam the phone] 

  Diane : It's someone named Vicki.

  Sam : [quickly backs away]  No, no, no, no, no!

• Diane : What makes you think that I would ever work in a place like this?

  Sam : It's simple, really. You can't go back to the professor for work. I need a waitress - you need a job. You like the people here. You think that they like you. And the phrase "magnificent pagan beast" has never left your mind.

  Diane : Now look, buster. I do need a job, and I'll find one. And you bet that it won't be waiting tables.

  Sam : What are you qualified to do?

  Diane : [emphatically]  Nothing!

• [a man and a woman enter Cheers] 

  Diane : Hello. Welcome to Cheers. My name is Diane. I will be serving you. Why don't you sit down right over here. You know, I should tell you, parenthetically, that you are the first people that I have ever served. In fact, if anyone had told me a week ago that I would be doing this, I would have thought them insane. When Sam over there offered me the job, I laughed in his face. But then it occurred to me, here I am, I'm a student - not just in an academic sense, but a student of life. And where better than here to study life in all its many facets. People meet in bars, they part, they rejoice, they suffer, they come here to be with their own kind. What can I get you?

  Swedish Customer : [reading a phrase book, and speaking in broken English]  Where is police? We have lost our luggage.

• Coach : I'm working on a novel. Going on six years now. I think I might finish it tonight.

  Diane : You're writing a novel?

  Coach : No, reading it.

• Diane : Oh, Sumner. Oh, I'm so glad to see you. I've been listening to these men argue over the sweatiest movie ever made.

  Prof. Sumner Sloan : Cool Hand Luke.

  Cliff Clavin : Hey, that's one!

• Carla : That group's arguing about the sweatiest movie ever made.

  Norm Peterson : The what?

  Carla : What movie did people sweat most in?

  Norm Peterson : That's easy. Rocky II.

  Cliff Clavin : No, not even close. Body Heat. Sweat city.

  Ron : Ben Hur. The boys in that galley sweat like pigs.

  Norm Peterson : Alien. Buckets.

  Diane : The night before my wedding and I'm in the middle of a sweat contest.