Carla Tortelli-LeBec: [about Kelly] She really is dumber than cotton.
Woody Boyd: Hi, Carla.
Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Hi, Cotton.
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: [talking about Sam babysitting Frederick] I don't know how comfortable I feel with this set-up. He's just a baby, he needs supervision.
Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, Sam can take care of it.
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: I'm talking about Sam. You know how out out of control he can get at times, what a mess he can make of everything.
Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, Sam can clean it up. Oh...
Dr. Frasier Crane: Darling, it'll just be for a few hours.
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: All right, but if anything goes wrong, he could be scarred for life.
Dr. Frasier Crane: You mean Sam, right?
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: Yes, and it is a threat.
Dr. Frasier Crane: I'm proud to tell you that my lovely wife is being honored tonight by the scientific community for her contributions to the study of sensory deprivation.
Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: It was serendipitous, I admit. I returned to the lab after a two-week holiday to find that I had locked my lab assistant in the isolation tank. Suffice to say, what could have turned out to be a nasty lawsuit turned into an award winning paper.
Sam Malone: Say, Carla, I'm babysitting tonight. You got any advice for me?
Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Sure. Here's everything you need to know about babies. Remember, you're the boss.
Sam Malone: Yeah.
Carla Tortelli-LeBec: Don't let them give you any lip. And if they start to act crabby, stick a bottle in their mouth.
Sam Malone: Great, OK, great.
[Sam leaves and Kelly, who has just started working as a waitress at the bar, enters]
Kelly Gaines: OK, I'm ready.
Carla Tortelli-LeBec: OK. Here's everything you need to know about customers. Remember, you're the boss. Don't let them give you any lip. And if they start to act crabby, just stick a bottle in their mouths.