- Cliff Clavin: [about Norm's lying about a sexual conquest] Boy what a pathetic display. I'm ashamed God made me a man.
- Carla Tortelli: I don't think God's doing a lot of bragging about it either.
- Carla Tortelli: [to Norm, about having sex with a client] Norman, I think that you better give the lady what she wants. She is a client. If you don't come across, she's going to drop you like a bad habit.
- Diane Chambers: Norman, has it come to this? Are you going to sell your virtue to the first person who buys you a drink in a bar? If you were a woman, I think we'd have a name for you.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: I kinda like Becky. I realize Norma is closer, you only have to add "U" "H".
- [Norm enters the bar with an attractive ladyfriend]
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Normie, Normie! Could this be Vera?
- Norm Peterson: Well, with a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.
- Alan: [to everyone in the bar about Norm's impending return to the bar] OK, quiet everybody, here he comes now. Just act like you don't know anything.
- Diane Chambers: Yeah, something tells me you boys can handle that.