- Norm Peterson: How's the kids?
- Carla Tortelli: Two of 'em are ugly, one's obnoxious, and one's just stupid. He's my favorite.
- Sam Malone: What's your name?
- Brandee: Brandee - with two E's.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Brandee with two E's?
- [Brandee nods positively]
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [reading the liquor bottle in his hands] Big company like this, they spell it wrong.
- Diane Chambers: But tell me, once you've consumed as much sex for as long as you want it, what would you do then?
- Norm Peterson: [long pause] I'd help the poor.
- [Carla is proving to Diane how shallow Sam is when it comes to women]
- Carla Tortelli: [knocking on Sam's office door] Sam, would you come out here for a second?
- Sam Malone: Carla, never disturb me.
- [Sam notices Brandee]
- Sam Malone: Unless there's a customer.
- Sam Malone: Does anybody know any good movies?
- Norm Peterson: Yeah, what's the name of that new Australian film that's supposed to be so good?
- Brandee: No, no Australian films. I hate subtitles.
- Diane Chambers: This one's no problem - it's dubbed.
- Sam Malone: I've never met an intelligent woman that I'd want to date.
- Diane Chambers: On behalf of the intelligent women around the world, may I just say...
- [Diane mocks a big sigh of relief]
- Brandee: My mother told me to watch out for guys in bars.
- Sam Malone: Well, then let's get out of this bar so you don't have to worry.