- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [to everyone in the bar] Who needs a ride home?
- [there is no response]
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Come on, who needs a ride home?
- Jack: I guess we're all sober enough to drive ourselves home tonight, Coach.
- Cliff Clavin: Yeah, looks like you get to go straight home for a change.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: I've never driven straight home alone. I wouldn't know how to do it.
- Norm Peterson: OK Coach, you can take me.
- Cliff Clavin: Oh, what a prince.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Thanks Norm. I owe you one.
- Norm Peterson: Anytime.
- Cliff Clavin: Good night, Norm.
- Norm Peterson: 'night.
- Norm Peterson: [to Coach] Just drop me off at Kenmore Square. I can catch a cab from there to take me back here to my car.
- Sam Malone: A little hung over, are we?
- Diane Chambers: I can't keep anything from you.
- Sam Malone: You know, I know something to stop hangovers.
- Diane Chambers: Oh, thank God, help me. What is it?
- Sam Malone: Don't drink so much.
- Carla Tortelli: You sound like a lady who is getting tired of her teeth.
- Diane Chambers: I'm tired of your teeth and all the vermicelli in-between.
- Sam Malone: [about Carla and Diane] You straighten everything out, the two of you?
- Carla Tortelli: Oh yeah. You know, it was great. She got sickening, and I told the biggest lie I could think of, and she started to sing.
- Sam Malone: Why did you do that?
- Carla Tortelli: She brings out the little devil in me, Sam. I don't know - I was getting a buzz on, feeling a little loose, I decided just to have a little fun with her.
- Sam Malone: What did you tell her?
- Carla Tortelli: Sam. It's something I told Diane and she swore she would never tell another living soul... She'll tell you tomorrow.
- [Diane is furious with Carla and needs to release some emotion]
- Diane Chambers: Coach, what do you do when you are so furious that you have to do something?
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Well, I know you think it's a little crazy, but I bang my head on the bar.
- Diane Chambers: Doesn't sound crazy to me. It might do me a lot of good right now.
- Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Well, OK.
- [Coach proceeds to bang his head on the bar]
- Carla Tortelli: Listen, pencil neck. You're startin' to get on my nerves.
- Diane Chambers: Please don't call me pencil neck. I am not a pencil neck.
- Carla Tortelli: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you pencil neck, gozzlehead.
- Diane Chambers: Name calling. The last refuge of the monosyllabic.
- Carla Tortelli: I don't know what that means but I heard slob in there!