- Rebecca Howe: [about Robin's old girlfriend Jeanne-Marie] The nerve of that cheap slut, pretending like Robin turned himself in for her.
- Norm Peterson: Don't worry, Rebecca. Your friends know who the real cheap slut is.
- Rebecca Howe: I mean the only thing that really does matter is that I am Robin's true love. It actually makes it more romantic because we're the only ones who know.
- Norm Peterson: Except for us.
- Woody Boyd: And I kind of told my Mom in Hanover.
- Rebecca Howe: You know what I mean. It's sort of like a secret Valentine between me and Robin.
- Norm Peterson: ...and us.
- Woody Boyd: ...and my Mom.
- Rebecca Howe: Woody, who cares if your Mother knows? I mean, who is she going to tell?
- Woody Boyd: Are you serious? She has choir practice tonight. Once she gets a cup of coffee in her, those old biddies will bleed it out of her. For a moist crumb cake, she'll tell anybody why you never see Uncle Willie and Aunt May in the same room at the same time.
- Norm Peterson: Why, why would that be, Wood?
- Woody Boyd: I don't see any crumb cake.
- Cliff Clavin: Anyone seen my gum? I left it around here somewhere.
- Norm Peterson: What did you take your gum out for?
- Cliff Clavin: Ah, give my mouth a rest.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [starts writing in his book] Dear Diary, today it finally happened...
- Rebecca Howe: [about Robin] I cannot just ask him if he loves Jeanne-Marie, because then he will think I don't trust him.
- Sam Malone: You don't.
- Rebecca Howe: I know, but I should. But if I ask him 'Do you love Jeanne-Marie?' and he says yes, I don't think that I could handle that. And if I ask him if he loved me and he said yes, then he would know that I did not trust him, and trusting him is the one thing that I really should do since he gave up his fortune for me... if he really did give it up for me... which I can never know because I can't ask.
- Sam Malone: Let me see if I can put this in a nutshell. What?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Fortunately, I'm a trained psychiatrist, so I've learned to tune out cries for help.