Clueless (TV Series)
To Party or Not to Party (1996)
Julie Brown: Olivia Crawford
Quotes
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Olivia Crawford : [drama teacher to newcomer in class] Cher, do you have any theatrical experience?
Cher Horowitz : Well, I saw Cats three times.
Olivia Crawford : No, darling, have you done any stage acting?
Cher Horowitz : Oh, I was Glinda in Wizard of Oz once.
Olivia Crawford : Oh, and when were you in this production?
Cher Horowitz : Uhm, in Girl Scouts.
[derisive laughter]
Olivia Crawford : People, please, even Kenneth Branagh had to start somewhere.
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Olivia Crawford : [in drama class] And, Donal, do you have any acting experience?
Donal Miller : Well, uh, I was a Guy in Guys and Dolls on Broadway last year, and, uh... I was a guest star on Fresh Prince.
Amber Mariens : I saw that episode!
[gushing:]
Amber Mariens : You were so brilliant as the valet parker!
Olivia Crawford : Very impressive, Donal.
Cher Horowitz : [thinks] Oh no, I was watching House of Style that night.
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Olivia Crawford : [as Cher mimes] Let me guess. You found an object from a loved one had fallen onto the floor and shattered into a million pieces never to be replaced.
Cher Horowitz : No.
Donal Miller : You... you saw, like, ah, a bird fall from a tree, and... it was half alive, and you ran to save it, but... it died in your hand.
Cher Horowitz : [touched] Uhm, no.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : I know. You're really upset because your dog chewed your brand-new Manolo Blahnik pumps.
Cher Horowitz : That's right! You see, we had this dog, but he kept destroying everything, so eventually we had to give him to a dude ranch.
Olivia Crawford : Oh, that must have been very emotional for you.
Cher Horowitz : [sadly] Mm, it was. I lost a lot of good shoes.
-
Olivia Crawford : Now, girls, what were we doing a scene from?
Cher Horowitz : We selected a scene from House of Style. I'm Amber Valletta.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : And I'm Shalom.
[exaggerated slinky movements]
Cher Horowitz : [fake microphone] Blue eye-shadow. Is it here to stay, or just the latest trend?
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : This year's newest color is
[exaggerated accent:]
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : bluh!
[breathless:]
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Sparkling, frosted and matt!
Cher Horowitz : But is this trashy chic retro trend merely this year's go-go boot?
Dionne "Dee" Davenport : Perhaps. So, enjoy it, girls, while it lasts!
[their skit goes over teacher's head, however]
Cher Horowitz : [doesn't latch on] I think we really riveted!