- Coach Hayden Fox: Middle-aged is just a term that old peole came up with so they wouldn't have to call themselves old.
- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: Believe me, I know about being old. I've been old for... years now. Some things you can't do any more like playin' football and stayin' up past "Murder She Wrote".
- Coach Hayden Fox: Come on, this is your dream.
- Jim Collins: Well, it's amazing how quickly pain can wake you up.
- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: Hayden, when a man can't catch his breath after he puts on his uniform, that's not attitude, that's elderly.
- Coach Hayden Fox: He's 3 years younger than I am and look who's talkin'. I've seen you with your shirt off. You look like you're lined with water balloons.