- Hank Yarbo: You can't leave me out here stranded! It's like 10 miles to town!
- Davis: It's your house. You'll live.
- Hank Yarbo: But all I've got to eat here is pickles and pop rocks.
- Davis: You'll probably live.
- Oscar Leroy: I really liked the ATM, until Emma came. What good has she ever brought me?
- Lacey Burrows: What about Brent?
- Oscar Leroy: I guess.
- Brent Leroy: Love you too, Dad. Give us a hug.
- [hugs Oscar]
- Oscar Leroy: Don't you touch me!
- Fitzy: My campaign to promote Dog River is working. An American tourist has come here, accidentally.
- Wanda Dollard: If he came here accidentally, what does that have to do with your campaign?
- Fitzy: Eh, you can't argue with results.
- Wanda Dollard: Don't tell me what I can't argue with.
- Oscar Leroy: You never care about what I think or what I do. This is supposed to be a marriage, Emma.
- Emma Leroy: When's our anniversary?
- Oscar Leroy: [Awkward pause] August, late August. Early September.
- Emma Leroy: Not even close.
- Oscar Leroy: See? You don't care what I think.
- Hank Yarbo: Politics. You probably think Canada's leader is called the Grand Pooba, huh?
- Mark Mallet: No, it's the Governor General.
- Hank Yarbo: Wrong, it's the Prime Minister.
- Wanda Dollard: Technically, Hank, it is the Governor General.
- Mark Mallet: Actually, I think your Governor General can pick the leader of any political party to form the government in the event of a non-confidence motion.
- Hank Yarbo: Oh, oh yeah.
- Wanda Dollard: Wow. Aren't you a tall drink of knowledge. You know, I've always been kinda confused. Does such a motion apply to pre-votes...
- Mark Mallet: As opposed to post legislation? Aw, you know, I don't know.
- Hank Yarbo: Typical ignorant American