- Sheriff: Little late aren't you?
- Bill Gray, Indian Commissioner: I'm afraid so. I was detained in Chief Shona's village.
- Sheriff: Better watch that, Bill. You start coming late to your office, folks around town won't have anything to set their clocks by.
- Bill Gray, Indian Commissioner: Three loads of supplies and not one got through.
- Pat Gallagher: You wouldn't think outlaws would go for tools and groceries would you?
- Bill Gray, Indian Commissioner: Ordinarily, no, but since that gold strike in Oro Valley, a can of beans is worth almost as much as a handful of gold nuggets and a pick and shovel... well, you couldn't get anyone to quote you a price.
- Sheriff: I didn't give you permission to operate in this town. I'm goin' to give you thirty days in the calaboose to think it over.
- Zerbo the Peddler: Oh, no! Not the calaboose, sir. I get train sick.
- Sheriff: Aw, you're thinking of a caboose.
- Zerbo the Peddler: Oh, you can't fool me. A caboose is an Indian baby.
- Stoney: What if an Indian war party rides into town and scalps me?
- Pat Gallagher: Stoney, you know that's physically impossible.
- Stoney: Yeah, but do the Indians know it?