- Host: [narrating] Meet rock star Darek Jones - ten platinum albums, 14 Grammies and a real problem getting through metal detectors at airports.
- Host: [narrating] Darek's parents, Frieda and Lou Birnbach, told him not to go into the heavy metal business. They wanted him to go into the sheet metal business - something steady... and safe.
- [Darek opens a gift-wrapped box he thinks is from an adoring fan and finds a rattlesnake coiled to strike]
- The Searcher: [narrating] Rock and roll; the party that never ends. Danger. Excitement. Living life on the edge. Strange women waking up in bed with you. Hail, hail, rock and roll... and strange women. Phew.
- Host: Let that be a lesson to you kids out there - never insult the bad drummers in your life. Just smile and tell them they're good, but you've decided to take the band in a different direction.