- Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie: You know, you aren't supposed to ride those things without a helmet.
- Kevin: Hey, I don't follow rules. I'm rebellent.
- Daria: Did he say "repellent?"
- Jane: Seems like he should have, doesn't it?
- Daria Morgendorffer: You know, if you break up Brittany's attempt at thought, it looks like a Mystik Spiral song.
- [Jane grabs Daria's notepad]
- Jane Lane: "Armpits have feelings, but not for me. Now what do I do with lips emp-ty?" Eh. Are you sure you don't want to replace "lips" with "skull?"
- Daria Morgendorffer: It's a work in progress.
- Tom Sloane: I take it your quarterback is still wallowing in self-pity.
- Daria: I wish he'd try self-immolation.
- Jane: Daria, maybe we should go inside before lightning strikes you dead and bits of you mess up my nice shoes.
- Daria: So my sister's scouting out new zip-codes, my father's so mad he can only see the color red, and the other day when my mother was paying bills I caught her trying to smudge her return address labels. My home life's becoming intolerable.
- Jane: BECOMING intolerable?
- Daria: [Silence] ... Is there such a word as intolerabler?
- Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie: Come on, man, it's just a sprained knee. You gotta play. The team needs you.
- Kevin: No, it doesn't. The only team that needs me is the one that sits all the time: The chess team.
- Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie: But you don't even know how to play chess.
- Kevin: Oh, yeah? King me, king me, king me!
- Brittany Taylor: Then he said that his armpits would know only the embrace of his crutches.
- Jodie Abigail Landon: What does that mean?
- Brittany Taylor: I don't know, but it sounds bad. Like, Kevvy's armpits have feelings, but not for me. Now what do I do with lips so empty, so yearning?
- Jodie Abigail Landon: Lips? So, we're off the armpit thing?
- Kevin: Kissing me now would be like kissing one of those guys who wear old man pants and watch Touched by an Angel!