- Rube Sofer: I have a question for you. Is everyone in this line an asshole?
- Cutting Woman: Eh, excuse me?
- Rube Sofer: Is everyone you just cut in front of an asshole?
- Cutting Woman: Eh, no.
- Rube Sofer: So it's just you then.
- Cutting Woman: I have children in the car.
- Rube Sofer: I have a cake in the oven. He's got three minutes left on the meter, she's got a lunch meeting. We all have a finite amount of time. Now get in the back of the line. And don't use your children like that - it's shameful.
- Rube: [to a hurried woman who sees an acquaintance in line at the post office and moves in line next to her] I have a question for you... is everyone in this line an asshole?
- Woman in Post Office: Excuse me?
- Rube: Is everyone you just cut in front of an asshole?
- Woman in Post Office: No.
- Rube: So it's just you then?
- Woman in Post Office: I have children in the car.
- Rube: I have a cake in the oven.
- [pointing]
- Rube: He's got three minutes left on the meter. And she's got a lunch meeting. We all have a finite amount of time. Now get in the back of the line. And don't use your children like that - it's shameful.
- Lady at Post Office: To Rube: I would like to meet Matt Lauer. You look a little like him, only older and angrier.
- Ed Barphin: May I ask you a question?
- George: That is a question. Would you like to ask me another one?
- Joy: Where are my effing keys?
- Reggie Lass: Maybe they're in your effing purse.
- Joy: Reggie! Don't say effing!