- Lt. James Dempsey: [Makepeace is about to shoot an arrow from a bow] I guess that does wonders for your chest, huh?
- [startled, Makepeace lets go and the arrow hits the top of her target]
- Lt. James Dempsey: It sure looks like it...
- [She turns around with an angry look to see Dempsey brandishing a banana]
- Lt. James Dempsey: Hey, you hit it! What do you get, a cupie doll or something?
- [takes a bite from his banana]
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: No, I get a gorilla from America.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Will you please tell me what you're doing here?
- Lt. James Dempsey: We got business, honey. The crap has hit the fan at Agincourt. Spikings the Fifth hath me at thee and thy funny bow and arrow. And for sooth has send me to fetch thee and bring thee and spot like now.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Will you stop torturing the language and tell me what you're trying to say?
- Lt. James Dempsey: Okay. A hijacked truck, murder with a 38 and the chief's gone crazy 'cause you ain't around on your day off, which is no longer your day off. So, are you coming?
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: [manages a sarcastic smile] Of course. Since you put it so well.
- Chief Supt. Gordon Spikings: Ah, Makepeace. Welcome back to the 20th century. No bows and arrows in this one, I'm afraid, just big nasty bullets.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Look. We got drugs here, we got... rock 'n roll here. There's only one thing missing with us.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Oh really, what's that?
- Lt. James Dempsey: Sex!
- Gerry: Kristy, that was absolutely divine, darling. Sounded like your lunch was coming up.
- Kristy: What?
- Gerry: Listen, take a ten minute break and we'll see if there's anything there we can salvage.
- Kristy: [gets up] Yeah, alright, I'll see if I can learn the words.
- Gerry: Oh, this one's got words, does it?
- [Kristy gives him the finger]
- Kristy: You don't look American. It's just your accent.
- Lt. James Dempsey: I don't, huh? My old man was Irish, my mother was Italian. That ought to make me American.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: [sighs] I didn't ask for you, Dempsey. And I'm certainly not going to jeopardize my career for you, do you understand me? Just stay in line, will you?
- Lt. James Dempsey: Okay, Commissioner.
- [straightens her bowtie]
- Lt. James Dempsey: I'm sorry. You wanna hear about my lead now?
- Lt. James Dempsey: So you got some legwork to do. How are your legs?
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: [rolls her eyes] Our friend Piglet's a self confessed pothead isn't he? Who also works for the studio. Lets ask him.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Hey, why didn't I think of that? And I'm supposed to be the brains of this outfit.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: No, I'm the brains actually, you're the mouth.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: I have a feeling you might be somewhat familiar with this.
- [hands him a sheet of wrapping paper]
- Lt. James Dempsey: Oh yeah? It's cartridge paper.
- [smells his fingers]
- Lt. James Dempsey: Gun oil.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Thought you'd recognize it.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Hey, you make it sound like I use it as an aftershave.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Black September? What is that, an English weather report?
- Chief Supt. Gordon Spikings: It's a terrorist organisation financed by drug running.
- Lt. James Dempsey: You know Makepeace, you're a lousy cop. And you're a worse driver.
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: If there's any shortcoming in my ability to do my job, it's because I have to be shackled to you while I'm doing it.
- Lt. James Dempsey: Shackled to me, huh? That's not a bad idea. Would that be day and night?
- Det. Sgt. Harry Makepeace: Heaven forbid.
- Chief Supt. Gordon Spikings: What in hell do you call this, Dempsey? Don't you know where you are yet? This is Wandsworth, not Chicago!
- Lt. James Dempsey: Hey! You can't blame me for this, I wasn't driving.
- [realizes he's carrying two guns, hides them under his armpits]