Desperate Housewives (TV Series)

Pretty Little Picture (2004)

Teri Hatcher: Susan Mayer

Quotes 

• Susan Mayer : How could we have all forgotten about this?

  Lynette Scavo : We didn't exactly forget. It's just that usually when the hostess dies, the party is off.

  Bree : Lynette!

  Lynette Scavo : I'm not being flip, I'm just pointing out a reality.

• Susan Mayer : Lynette?

  Lynette Scavo : I'm in.

  Bree : I'll make braised lamb shanks.

  Lynette Scavo : I'm still in.

• Susan Mayer : You can afford a cabin, but you can't scrape up child support?

  Karl Mayer : The check is in the mail.

  Susan Mayer : Uh...

  [checks mailbox] 

  Susan Mayer : No, it's not.

• Karl Mayer : The heart wants what it wants!

  Susan Mayer : Yeah, well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I can control myself!

  Karl Mayer : I don't want to go back to that ugly place, really, and if you do, I suggest you get some help.

  Susan Mayer : You know what? I don't need an apology! I don't need anything from you!

  Karl Mayer : You're humiliating yourself!

  Susan Mayer : No, you're the one who's been humiliated, Karl. Why don't you see that? You walked out on your family! People think you're scum, not me! So worry about yourself! I'm okay with me!

  [barefoot and wearing only a towel and talking to Karl whose in the car] 

  Susan Mayer : I can walk down the street and hold my head high!

  [She accidentally gets her towel caught on the door as she slams it, and he drives off leaving Susan standing naked as she gasps] 

  Susan Mayer : Oh!

  [Susan looks around, whimpers, and runs to her door with embarrassment and it's locked] 

  Susan Mayer : Oh!

  [Susan hides behind the porch's support beam embarrassed] 

• Mary Alice Young : [narrating voice over]  As the sun slowly settled on Wisteria Lane, an unsettled Susan racked her brain to find a way into her own house.

  [Susan holds the plant in front of her naked body and sidesteps her way down the steps and toward the garden shed on the left side of the house which is also locked. She tiptoes to the window and tries to open it, but it's stuck. She puts the plant down and uses two hands to open it, but slips and falls on her back into her shrubs] 

  Mary Alice Young : [narrating voice over]  Lying naked in her shrubs, it occurred to Susan that this could be the most humiliating moment of her life.

  [Mike walks by and notices her naked in the shrubs] 

  Mike Delfino : Susan?

  Mary Alice Young : [narrating voice over]  She was wrong.

  Mike Delfino : [averting his eyes and grinning]  Uh...whatcha' doing?

  Susan Mayer : Locked myself out...naked.

  Mike Delfino : Oh.

  Susan Mayer : And then I fell.

  [crosses her legs] 

  Susan Mayer : So how are you?

  Mike Delfino : Good, good. I just got back. I've been gone all day, and I got your message about dinner, and, um, I would love to come if the invite still stands.

  Susan Mayer : It's a date.

  Mike Delfino : Alright, I um, assume the dress is, uh, casual.

  Susan Mayer : Yeah, it's...it's casual.

  [Mike nods, grinning as he walks off. Susan squeals and covers herself with the plants] 

• Susan Mayer : Thanks for helping me break in. Do you think it's gonna be hard to replace that screen?

  Mike Delfino : Well that depends. If you nail it in yourself, you might wanna wear gloves. Or pants. Pants wouldn't hurt.

  Susan Mayer : Okay. I know what just happened is funny, in theory, but I am nowhere near ready to laugh about it. So, please, no jokes.

  Bree : [opens the front door]  Hey, where have you two been?

  Mike Delfino : Um, Susan had a problem finding something to wear

  [stifles his laughter] 

  Mike Delfino : . Oh, was that the kinda thing you meant?

  Susan Mayer : Pretty much.

• Susan Mayer : Listen, Mike, about the whole 'seeing me naked' thing. I, I just want to thank you for being such a perfect gentleman.

  Mike Delfino : Oh, I wasn't a perfect gentleman, I might have snuck a peek.

  Susan Mayer : Oh, goodnight!

  Mike Delfino : And for what it's worth, wow.