The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Long Night's Journey Into Day (1966)

Mary Tyler Moore: Laura Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Laura Petrie : [answers the phone and nobody talks]  Oh, I hate it when it does that. Just like that movie where the lady gets murdered. No it isn't. It's nothing like that at all.

• Millie Helper : [whispering]  Laura...

  Laura Petrie : Shh...

  Millie Helper : I think I did something dumb!

  Laura Petrie : What?

  Millie Helper : I think I left the door open when I came in.

  Laura Petrie : Why?

  Millie Helper : In case something was wrong, I wanted to be able to get out fast.

• Millie Helper : Listen, for goodness sake, don't take a shower!

  Laura Petrie : Why?

  Millie Helper : Oh, listen, didn't you see that Alfred Hitchcock picture?

  [stabbing motion] 

  Laura Petrie : Millie!

  Millie Helper : You're better off dirty than dead, believe me.

• Millie Helper : I forgot to give you something.

  Laura Petrie : A fountain pen?

  Millie Helper : Well, it's not really a pen. It's a burglar beeper.

  Laura Petrie : A what?

  Millie Helper : You know, a burglar beeper. If somebody breaks in and tries to bash you in the head, you pull the top off and a siren starts. Keen, huh?

• Laura Petrie : How's Richie?

  Rob Petrie : He broke his pole.

  Laura Petrie : I told him to keep it in the car.

  Rob Petrie : Well, he did. I sat on it.

• Laura Petrie : What're you doing back here, anyway? Is everyone back?

  Millie Helper : No, just me and I'm not really back!

  Laura Petrie : Well, you're here!

  Millie Helper : Well, I never got there!

  Laura Petrie : I'm glad you're here!

  Millie Helper : Oh, Laura!

  Laura Petrie : What happened anyway?

  Millie Helper : Well, going up there it suddenly dawned on me, where was I going? I mean, I... I hate camping and I hate fishing, and I can just about tolerate the kids and I'm not that wild about Jerry. Well, the only person who was gonna make it any fun was here; so, when we got to Flouter Junction, I jumped on a train and... here I am.

• Millie Helper : You heard noises? What noises?

  Laura Petrie : Well, just... ordinary house noises, things that go bump in the night. You know, the stuff I never worry about if someone were here with me.

  Millie Helper : Well, someone's here with you and she's worried - what kind of noises?

  Laura Petrie : Well, like, uh, wood creaking and a... cat scratching, and then, once, the phone rang and there was nobody on the other line.

  Millie Helper : [gasps]  Oh. 'Sorry, Wrong Number'! Did you see that picture?

  Laura Petrie : I did, and that's what's been frightening me.

• Laura Petrie : Here, you can wear this.

  [hands Millie a flimsy nightgown] 

  Millie Helper : Oh, listen, don't you have something a little less, say, you know? I mean, uh, in case we gotta go running into the streets, I don't want to look too sexy.

• Laura Petrie : Darling, here's, uh, Ritchie's worms.

  Rob Petrie : Oh.

  Laura Petrie : Don't let him play with them on the way up, huh?

  Rob Petrie : How does he play with worms?

  Laura Petrie : He tries to tie them all together and make one long one.

• Laura Petrie : Rob, I worry about you, all alone up there with that hat.

• Laura Petrie : Well, you, uh, just tell Millie she's a nut.

  Rob Petrie : [chuckles]  That's wouldn't be nice. I'll have Jerry do it.

• [as the radio plays loudly, Millie irons in the living room while Laura putters about the kitchen] 

  Millie Helper : Let's keep talkin', okay?

  Laura Petrie : What?

  Millie Helper : I said let's keep talkin', okay?

  Laura Petrie : Okay.

  Millie Helper : What are you doin' now?

  Laura Petrie : I'm making the coffee.

  Millie Helper : Okay. Laura, would you fix me a piece of toast?

  Laura Petrie : Okay.

  Millie Helper : Okay. Now what are ya doing?

  Laura Petrie : I'm making the toast.

  Millie Helper : Oh, good, good, good.

  Millie Helper : [thinking she heard a noise]  Laura?

  Laura Petrie : Okay.

  Millie Helper : No. No okay. Laura did you hear anything?

  Laura Petrie : Millie, I can't hear anything with the radio blaring away.

  [the power suddenly go out. All goes dead and dark] 

• Laura Petrie : Millie, I can't hear anything, we have the TV on, the record player on, the radio blaring, we have every light in the house on, I'm surprised you don't want to turn on the garbage disposal.

• Millie Helper : Did I hurt you?

  Rob Petrie : Are there fireflies in here?

  Laura Petrie : No.

  Rob Petrie : Then I'm hurt.

• Rob Petrie : Ow!

  Laura Petrie : Rob, what happened?

  Rob Petrie : Oh, I sat on my hat! Don't worry, my wallet got most of it.

  Laura Petrie : Rob, you know I worry about you, all alone up there with that hat!

• Millie Helper : [after whacking Rob on the head with a folding chair]  Rob's the maniac? Oh, Rob, did I hurt you?

  Rob Petrie : [looking up and around in a daze]  Are there fireflies in here?

  Laura Petrie : No.

  Rob Petrie : Then I'm hurt.

  [pulling at his fishing hat] 

  Rob Petrie : Oh, it's the fishhooks!