The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Never Bathe on Saturday (1965)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie
Photos
Quotes
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [finally getting into the bathroom] Honey, you all right?
Laura Petrie : Oh, Rob...
[Rob laughs]
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : I'm sorry. You look so funny.
Laura Petrie : Oh, jeez!
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : [coming out while continuing to laugh] You guys wanna see something ridiculous?
[Realizes what he said, waves the gun at the detective and bellboy]
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Wait a minute!
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Is there any particular reason why you're sawing so slowly?
Engineer : The best one. I'm seventy-five years old.
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Maid : Dearie, would you try jiggling the door knob?
Laura Petrie : I can't reach the door knob.
Maid : Why not?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : She's stuck. May I please?
Maid : Look, why can't your wife open the door from the other side?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Because she's stuck in the tub.
Maid : She calls ME stupid.
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Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Don't toy with me, you saucy wench.
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Laura Petrie : [from the bathroom] Well, where's the stupid maid with the key?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : She's right here, honey.
Maid : Stupid maid, huh?
Robert 'Rob' Petrie : Well, we had a stupid maid once.