The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Remember the Alimony (1966)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rob Petrie : We'd like a room.

  Gonzales : Okay, you're in 135 and the señora's in 214.

  Laura Petrie : No, um, I'll be in 135.

  Gonzales : Please, no arguments, they're both nice rooms.

  Laura Petrie : Rob, I don't think he understands.

  Rob Petrie : No, I don't think you understand. We both wanted one room, together.

  Gonzales : Oh no, I tried that once and they broke all the furniture.

• Rob Petrie : Listen, we'd like to take a little stroll on your desert.

  Gonzales : You picked a perfect night. There's a full moon, and it's very... very, how do you say?

  Laura Petrie : Romantic?

  Gonzales : No, practical. You'll have enough light to see the snakes.

• Gonzales : The only reason people comes to El Diablo is to get a divorce.

  Rob Petrie : We're hardly ready for that. We're still on our honeymoon.

  Gonzales : Aw, that's nice. That's beautiful. For one time, my hotel will be filled with kissing and hugging instead of hitting and punching.

• Gonzales : Did you ever hear of El Gordo? The Fat Bandit? You see that bed?

  Rob Petrie : He slept there?

  Gonzales : No, he died there. He was a terrible man. Boy, were we happy.