The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Masterpiece (1963)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Buddy Sorrell : What is it?

  Rob Petrie : It's a hookah. You know, Turkish water pipe.

  Sally Rogers : Oh.

  Buddy Sorrell : Looks like a seltzer bottle with a thyroid condition.

• Rob Petrie : I could... I could kick myself.

  Buddy Sorrell : Don't do it. The guy'll think you're bidding.

• Rob Petrie : All I know is there's an eye there, and where there's an eye there's got to be a face, and if that face is sitting on a rockin' chair sideways, we may have found "Whistler's Father."

• Rob Petrie : Honey, it's the same people, it's the same house as "An American Gothic", it's even the same pitchfork.

  Laura Petrie : Yeah, but our people are smiling.

  Rob Petrie : Yeah, well, maybe they had a good crop that year. You know, in the famous one, maybe they could have just found out they had worms in their tomatoes.