- Pat Brody: You are so dead.
- Joel Larsen: No kidding! If I don't finish in top three in this science fair, I'll fail the class and be held back. I can't repeat freshman year again. And again.
- Pat Brody: You could have just studied.
- Joel Larsen: [annoyed] Thanks... Isabelle.
- Cheryl Larsen: We should get cable, daddy.
- Joel: [voice over] I'm not paying for television. TV's supposed to be free.
- Bill Larsen: I'm not paying for television. TV's supposed to be free.
- Karen Larsen: What happened to "I'm not paying for television. TV's supposed to be free!"
- Bill Larsen: I'm open to new ideas. I'm a man of the 80s.
- Karen Larsen: What is this channel called, Joel?
- Joel Larsen: CNN. Cable News Network.
- Bill Larsen: Nah, I'll give it a week.
- Joel Larsen: Well, I don't know, Dad. This one may have some likes.
- Joel Larsen: Here it is, Pat. The genius of Andrew Wages and a guaranteed first place in the science fair.
- [Pat looks excited. Joel opens up the box and pulls out what is inside]
- Joel Larsen: This is just a lightball attached to a freaking battery!
- Pat Brody: I'll tell you this: You better make one hell of a poster.
- Isabelle Meyers: What, third place? I don't understand!
- Pat Brody: Well, let me help you, then. It means two people are better than you.
- Joel: [voice over] At the end of the day, you can't ride through life on somebody elses cocktails. There are no short cuts. I gotta make it on my own. Though it's still okay to steal your neighbor's cable.