Michael Milhoan: Bill Larsen

Quotes 

• Joel Larsen : I'm dropping out.

  Bill Larsen : No, you're not! This race means everything. You're doing it, and that's all there is to it.

  Joel Larsen : For god's sake, it's a stupid three-legged race! Who cares if we win? You're so damn competitive, you always have to be right! Nobody wants to be around a person like that.

  Bill Larsen : Hey! Hey...

  Joel Larsen : No! You may not realize it, because you're in your own little world, but you're driving everyone away! That's why you won the basketball game, that's why I don't play golf with you anymore when you retire, and it's why you end up old and alone!

  [tries to leave, but is stopped by the rope that ties their legs together] 

  Joel Larsen : Damn common leg!

• Bill Larsen : Now, what are the Larsens gonna do?

  Cheryl Larsen : We're gonna kill 'em!

  Bill Larsen : That's right!

  Cheryl Larsen : We're gonna kill 'em, and then suck out their hearts through their entrails!

• Cheryl Larsen : What are you smiling at? We didn't even win.

  Bill Larsen : Well, sometimes, honey, winning isn't everything.

  Cheryl Larsen : That's loser talk.