Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (TV Series)

Office Management (1995)

H. Jon Benjamin: Ben Katz

Quotes 

• [Laura is calling Dr. Katz to say she's not coming to work, but Ben answered the phone and won't hand it off] 

  Dr. Katz : Why isn't she coming to work?

  Ben Katz : How come you're not coming to work, Laura?

  Laura : Just, uh, I have a few errands to do. I have to get my watch fixed.

  Ben Katz : [Off phone to his dad]  Women's problems, dad.

  Dr. Katz : [unconvinced]  Ohh.

  Laura : And, uh, holiday shopping.

  Ben Katz : Are you sick?

  Laura : [impatiently]  I have to get my watch fixed.

  Ben Katz : Yeah, but are you sick, too?

  Laura : No.

  Ben Katz : Really?

  Laura : Really.

  Ben Katz : Well, then how come you can't come to work?

  Laura : 'Cause I have to get my watch fixed!

  Ben Katz : How long does that take? I mean I know...

  Laura : All day!

  Ben Katz : Oh, you're fixing it yourself?

• Laura : [Laura has called the Katz residence and is annoyed that Ben answered]  What are you doing up?

  Ben Katz : Well I'm trying to get up early now to have a cup of herbal tea. Y'know, 'cause I'm trying to wean off the coffee because, uh... If I have a cup of coffee, you know, it keeps me up for two or three hours, and then I can't take a nap until like, afternoon.

• Ben Katz : It seems to me that Laura is unhappy at the office. She wouldn't be calling in and, uh, you know, saying she can't come to work, uh, for no good reason.

  Dr. Katz : Maybe... You think I... ?

  Ben Katz : Well, I think that things sound a little tense at the office, I mean, and you have one...

  Dr. Katz : No, I think... I think, if anything, that she is the source of the tension.

  Ben Katz : You know, it's not right to project...

  Dr. Katz : I create, uh, a fairly professional environment, it's a comfortable environment to work in, I pay well, I treat her with respect...

  Ben Katz : Well, to be honest, it's the responsibility of the employer to create a good working atmosphere, and...

  Dr. Katz : Isn't that what I just said that I do?

  Ben Katz : I don't know, I didn't listen.

  Dr. Katz : Well, that's the problem then.

  Ben Katz : I'm just saying, because you only have one employee, and she's potentially very unhappy. You know, most companies have thousands of employees, and, uh...

  Dr. Katz : So you're saying a hundred percent of my employees are unhappy.

  Ben Katz : Yeah. And that's a bad percent.

  Dr. Katz : But what about...

  Ben Katz : It's a good percentage if it was a good thing.