- [upon seeing Drake and Josh, Megan abruptly hangs up the phone]
- Drake Parker: Who're you on the phone with?
- Megan: I wasn't on the phone.
- Drake Parker: Yeah, you were.
- Josh Nichols: We saw you.
- Megan: No, you didn't.
- Drake Parker: Yeah, we did.
- Josh Nichols: We were standing right here.
- Megan: Coming, Mom!
- Drake Parker: [as Megan exits] Mom's not even home.
- Megan: YOU'RE not home.
- Drake Parker: Which locker do you think's Megan's?
- Josh Nichols: [sarcastically] Gee, I don't know. Maybe it's the one she's standing in front of and putting books into.
- Josh Nichols: Well, it's a good thing your "idiot brothers" were here.
- Drake Parker: [maintaining his Irish] Yah, this hooligan was about to kiss ya right on the mouth - and I don't have to be talkin' in this accent anymore, do I?
- [to spy on Megan, Drake and Josh appear at The Premiere as orthodox Jews]
- Drake Parker: Okay, all I'm sayin' is the next time we need disguises, I'M gettin' 'em.
- Josh Nichols: I told you the costume shop was closed, the temple was open, and these are good disguises.
- Drake Parker: I don't even know what accent to talk with.
- Josh Nichols: It doesn't matter. Just sound boring.
- Helen: Can I help you gentlemen find somethin'?
- Drake Parker: [in an Irish accent] Top o' the morning to ya.