- Dave Charnley: So Deborah, half-term is it?
- Deborah: No, I've been suspended pending a governors' meeting.
- George Dent: You're saying the police will be upset if we show this footage?
- Damien Day: Oh no, George. After all it only shows them as a bunch of incompetent, illiterate, granny-scaring bunny killers!
- Gus Hedges: Our failure to interact with the documentary team does rather make it look as if we've got something to hide.
- Alex Pates: We have, Gus.
- Alex Pates: I suppose she must have been attention-seeking.
- George Dent: Well setting fire to my desk is certainly a good way of getting my attention.
- Sally Smedley: [Sally is on the phone desperately trying to impress the documentary cameras] Yes, yes... so, if the Ukraine breaks away, it could trigger a disintegration of the Soviet economic infrastructure, and thus precipitate further internecine strife... as I thought.
- Henry Davenport: Very well informed, your manicurist!