- Henry Davenport: Over the last twenty-five years, I have read the news drunk, concussed, stoned, with a live stoat in my underpants and once on regional television with my trousers round my ankles and a Lithuanian prostitute under the news desk.
- Sally Smedley: Any messages, Joy?
- Joy Merryweather: Yes, your planet called, said your mission on Earth was over and could you go home.
- Henry Davenport: Last week I took this actress back to my flat. She had five orgasms.
- Joy Merryweather: Oh, she must be a bloody good actress.