Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [halts Dixie in a cloud of dust] All right, Daisy. Hold it right there. I've got you this time.
Daisy Duke: Oh, Rosco, you just *get* out of my way. I'm on my way to Miss Drucilla's to get something I want before somebody else gets it.
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Well, you should have thought of that before you come *zipping* through my brand-new hospital zone. It says fifteen miles per hour. Now you can read that, I can read that, and anybody...
[attention distracted by oncoming vehicle]
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: can read that...
[voice trails off]
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Halt!
[big black car just like Boss' big white car]
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Boss! Good news! Good news! This is Catch-the-Dukes day!
[chuckles]
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Daisy's the second one I caught today. Uh... uh... Boss, uh... what did you do? You painted your car black, here. And, and you got a new black suit?
Daisy Duke: Never mind his suit and his car, Rosco. That there is a phony hospital sign, and it's against the law.
honest Abe Lincoln Hogg: Phony sign?
Daisy Duke: Yeah.
honest Abe Lincoln Hogg: Is that a fact?
[Rosco mutters something]
Daisy Duke: Yeah.
honest Abe Lincoln Hogg: Sheriff, if there indeed be no hospital in the immediate vicinity, it appears you're using unfair chicanery to achieve nefarious ends.
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [likes the sound of that] Right!
[chuckles:]
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Coo-coo-coo!
Daisy Duke: Yeah, well, if that means playing dirty pool, that's par for the course, ain't it, Rosco?
[hands on her hips]
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Hey, hey, hey, everything is fair in love and war, especially with the Dukes. Coo! Ain't that right, Flash?
[the bassett hound is fast asleep on the passenger seat]
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: He's just acting a little *casual* now. But he'd better agree if he knows which side his dog biscuits are buttered on.
[snickers]
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Hey, Boss, Flash and I, were gonna escort Daisy, personally, down to her cell.
[grabbed Daisy by her slender suntanned arm]
honest Abe Lincoln Hogg: Sheriff, you really ought to relinquish her from custody.
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [loves big ominous-sounding words] Ooh, I'm gonna do that, too, I'm just gonna relinquish... hmm... mmm... Relinquish? Boss, that means "let go?"
honest Abe Lincoln Hogg: Mm.
Daisy Duke: [exuberant cry] Yahoo!
[jumps onto her Jeep Dixie]
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [gingerly reaching out to the man he mustakenly thinks is Boss Hogg] Uh... uh... are you feeling okay?
honest Abe Lincoln Hogg: I feel fine.
Daisy Duke: Rosco, don't you ask silly questions. Boss, thank you so much.
[hugs him, and as Abe chuckles merrily, starts Dixie's engine]
honest Abe Lincoln Hogg: That's all right, honey.
[chuckles benignly]
Daisy Duke: Thank you.
[drives off]
honest Abe Lincoln Hogg: [waves after her] Bless you.
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [still hasn't cottoned on] You know what you just did? You just blessed a Duke.
honest Abe Lincoln Hogg: And I'll bless you, too... when you take down that unauthorized and deceitful sign.
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [stammers] Ooh ooh ooh...