- Cletus: [another patrol car smashed up] Buzzards on a buzz saw! I guess today ain't the day to ask Cousin Boss for no raise!
- Bo Duke: Say, Luke, you sure you don't want to go hunting with me?
- Luke Duke: Well, Bo, I sure would like to... but I'll be doing a little bit of camping of my own on Saturday.
- Daisy Duke: [from the washing line] Yeah, with Betty Rogers, isn't it?
- Bo Duke: [chuckles before leaving] I'll tell you what, when I get back, we'll be eating high on the boar.
- Uncle Jesse: You get one and I'll cook it.
- Bo Duke: Yes, sir, Uncle Jesse.
- The Balladeer: [voice-over] Now, who would have ever figured that anything so peaceful would get the Dukes into more trouble than a bee romancing a buzz saw?
- Boss Hogg: Rosco!
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Huh?
- Boss Hogg: If there was a prize in Hazzard County for jackass of the year, you'd win it hoofs down!
- [first lines]
- The Balladeer: [as the Duke boys race each other] In Hazzard County, a youngster growing up learns the four 'R's... readin', 'ritin', 'rithmetic and racin'. Now, it ain't no secret which 'R' the Duke boys liked best.