- Turtle: Vince ain't got no weaknesses!
- Johnny Drama: That's a double negative. You just said he's got weaknesses.
- Johnny Drama: [to the producer] You look familiar.
- Audition Producer: You auditioned for me a couple of years ago.
- Johnny Drama: Oh yeah yeah, how did that go?
- Audition Producer: [pauses, doesn't really know what to say] You know...
- Johnny Drama: Yeah, you can't book 'em all.
- Kristen: You know what your problem is?
- Eric: No, but I have a feeling you do so tell me.
- Kristen: You are addicted to Vince.
- Eric: Great, more textbook psychobabble. C'mon, let's hear it.
- Kristen: When you're around him you feel great, but when you're not you go through withdrawal. And you talk about quitting all the time - classic addiction symptoms.
- Eric: So what, this is all my fault, is that what you're saying?
- Kristen: No! I think you're both fucked up codependents.
- Vincent Chase: So, how's the movement on Scarlett Johannson?
- Eric: You know, Vince, I'm not your pimp. If you want Scarlett Johannson's number, get it yourself.
- Vincent Chase: Listen, E... You're not coming out of the closet, are you? Cos you know I like long legs.
- Eric: [re hostile receptionist Emily] What's wrong with her?
- Ari Gold: From now on, ask my permission before you bang one of my assistants.
- Eric: How'd you know that?
- Ari Gold: Because I know all. I could have told you this would end badly. Now I gotta *fire* her so that you don't feel weird.
- Eric: No, don't fire her.
- Ari Gold: All right, I'll just sexually harass her until she quits.