Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates Funerals (2006)

Loretta Devine: Maxine

Quotes 

• Maxine : Rochelle, can't you make a decent glass of iced tea?

  Chris Rock : Well, can't you leave her alone? It's iced tea! If you're thirsty, well, then you drink it! If you're not, don't!

  Narrator : I might be joining my grandfather sooner than I thought.

  Maxine : Are you going to sit there and let that boy talk to me like that? Boy, don't you know I'll knock you into another family?

  White Mother : [scene cuts to Chris sitting on a couch with a white family]  Who are you?

  Chris Rock : You don't want to know.

• Rochelle : Who ate my Turtles?

  Maxine : Oh, is that what you call them things? I ate them, but they was nasty. What's in those things, anyway?

  Rochelle : If you didn't like them, why did you eat them? Mama, I am sick of you. Ever since you got here, you have not stopped complaining. Just because Daddy is dead does not mean that you can come into my house and tell everybody what to do. And Michael, get your feet off of my damn couch before I slap the jam out of your toes. Aunt Grievey, stop all that crying. You cried on Easter. You cried on Halloween. You cried on Flag Day. Get some Kleenex, wipe your nose 'cause it ain't that damn sad. And hang up my phone! And Aunt Mousey, take off your coat and speak up. You're over there peeping and squeaking.

  [makes squeaking noises] 

  Rochelle : You sound like a damn rat. Use your words! You're damn near 60 years old! And, Mama, the next time you want to eat my Turtles, the least you could do is like them.

  Narrator : She's back!